I feel as if I’m floating in a womb

Before now, honestly, it felt like a tomb

And maybe it was, I can’t be sure

I think both are rebirth and equally as pure

I am ready to be born and done with all of that

Small thinking and the internal tit for tat

So much work, it seems all I do is grind

I wonder if I will ever really come to find

My purpose here in the work that I do

To my current state I feel stuck like glue

What am I waiting for and when will it come?

In the meantime maybe I’ll come undone

Perhaps that’s the purpose, a slow death of the old

Maybe you have to experience some kind of chokehold

Before you’ll give up and scream Uncle in this chapter

Right when it turns into an utter disaster

Because healing and change don’t always feel good

They challenge everything that’s under the hood

Of our Selves, our hearts, and all of our beliefs

Sometimes it takes years, other times it’s brief

What a strange feeling of death and birth

I can honestly say that it feels like a first

But I think it’s because I was focused on the end

The thought of new beginnings blew away with the wind

The darkness used to come and go much more quickly

But this year it turned into weeks and months of sick me

Maybe now it’s time that I get a small glimpse

Beyond the heavy muck and everything dense

I welcome the light when it’s ready to be

Something I deserve and am prepared to see

I get little sparks of hope, I find comfort in my people

I found I can pray on my knees without a steeple

It’s a constant thing that I try to do

Communicate with those who are willing to come through

With a message for me, from this plane or another

That give me signs of the things that are yet to be uncovered

Thank you for the gifts of my family’s healing

Sometimes it still feels like a dream and my mind’s reeling

I’m ready to be done with this old conditioned wiring

I need to break through and feel something inspiring

I can and I will, it’s a matter of time

For now I’ll keep giving the old clock a wind