The Old Astronomer to His Pupil by Sarah Williams

Reach me down my Tycho Brahe,—I would know him when we meet,
When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
We are working to completion, working on from then till now.

Pray, remember, that I leave you all my theory complete,
Lacking only certain data, for your adding as is meet;
And remember, men will scorn it, ’tis original and true,
And the obloquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.

But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learnt the worth of scorn;
You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn;
What, for us, are all distractions of men’s fellowship and smiles?
What, for us, the goddess Pleasure, with her meretricious wiles?

You may tell that German college that their honour comes too late.
But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant’s fate;
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.

What, my boy, you are not weeping? You should save your eyes for sight;
You will need them, mine observer, yet for many another night.
I leave none but you, my pupil, unto whom my plans are known.
You “have none but me,” you murmur, and I “leave you quite alone”?

Well then, kiss me,—since my mother left her blessing on my brow,
There has been a something wanting in my nature until now;
I can dimly comprehend it,—that I might have been more kind,
Might have cherished you more wisely, as the one I leave behind.

I “have never failed in kindness”? No, we lived too high for strife,—
Calmest coldness was the error which has crept into our life;
But your spirit is untainted, I can dedicate you still
To the service of our science: you will further it? you will!

There are certain calculations I should like to make with you,
To be sure that your deductions will be logical and true;
And remember, “Patience, Patience,” is the watchword of a sage,
Not to-day nor yet to-morrow can complete a perfect age.

I have sworn, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap;
But if none should do my reaping, ’twill disturb me in my sleep.
So be careful and be faithful, though, like me, you leave no name;
See, my boy, that nothing turn you to the mere pursuit of fame.

I must say Good-bye, my pupil, for I cannot longer speak;
Draw the curtain back for Venus, ere my vision grows too weak:
It is strange the pearly planet should look red as fiery Mars,—
God will mercifully guide me on my way amongst the stars.

Re-member That Time

Please tell me, where did the time go, and did you see it slip away?

Did you ask why it was leaving, or perhaps if it preferred to stay?

Maybe it got caught up somehow or the clock that tracked it broke

Maybe it needs a brand new wheel or maybe it just needs a Spoke

Please remember when dealing with time it can be such a tricky thing

Images will hit and feelings will stir, it’s hard to predict what’ll bring

But that doesn’t mean we should toss it away, ‘cause it has its very own place

It shares its room with us regularly but occasionally it makes its own Space

It keeps track of all of our memories, and each of the cherished years

It reminds us of the places we’ve been and of moments with all of our Peers

Time can have such a funny way of playing tricks on our minds

Just when you think you’ve caught up to it, you might notice you’re running behind

So don’t let <- time <- “get to you,” don’t all.ways fall prey to its petty little games

Keep the present in front of you, try to look through presence’s frames

Because although we can love our time, it is a very human condition

It puts in place this silly little thing, I’ll go ahead and call it a partition

You know you can’t be in 2 places at once while you are in your physical’s form

But the mind can travel lickety split, it doesn’t play into our physical’s-aim norms

So please use this knowledge wisely, please make sure that you consider time

Try to line up your present and physical experiences with your pretty little mind

LAN-g(a<->u)ge

How do you choose your words, do you think about ‘em long?

Do you consider whether they’ll feel soft, or if they may feel strong?

And once released where will they seek to find a place to belong?

And were they sung from the deepest pit when you bellowed out your song?

Language is a funny thing, it’s such a weird i-Dea

We tend to prune it like a plant, like an absolute freaking chia

This can be quite hard, especially when words come from our mind

And usually if we’re carrying stuff it makes ‘em that much harder t’find

So what we need to do, is find a space that’s safe

One that’s special just for you, a sacred quiet place

Where things are still enough that you can hear the language of your heart

And it won’t come immediately, it won’t happen from the start

Our goal here is to shift away from using just words or speech

Actions and truth are necessary if we want to get real deep

Because although it seems contradictory, depth is truly the goal

You might think that it is height, but check the source of the things that you know

Be intentional with the words you choose, and with the things that you sew

Dismissive

How do you get when it hits you in the face

When someone decides they’re gonna try t’put you in your place

With words, a firm look, or by creating some space

Is it hard not to feel like you’ve suddenly been replaced

With an idea, a phrase, or a fresh set of eyes

Is it a view that you will accept or go on to despise

Will you take it in to settle and weigh its future lesson

Or will you let it push you to a state of surprise-yourself aggression

Well don’t dismiss it when you get a really hard shot to your gut

When a blow hits you hard and there’s nothing in it to rebut

Because it may knock you loose from the stand that you’re on

You may get to see, as an adult, the natural instinct to fawn

But challenge yourself and be okay with things moving around

Even if that movement is in the direction of down

From being too high where you can’t see all of the views

A perspective that might actually make you feel lighter and new

So use judgment, take time, think through every step

Because that approach hasn’t failed you, not quite, not yet

It’s important that you learn to sit at every level

Where you’ll feel torn and tattered, confused and disheveled

Because then you’ll get to see, there are different points of view

You can sit with these and those, all are parts of your crew

It’s humanity, you nut, but you’ve known all along

Don’t dismiss the tune, when sung, of someone else’s song

Pre-serving the Status Quo

Have you ever heard of a thing out there called keeping the status quo?

Making things appear to all those near that everything’s entire(ly) UNDER-control

Well I’ll tell you now, it’s a bag of dicks ‘n’ tricks, often of the worst kind

Just to stare at the turmoiled state of affairs while exclaiming! 🔥 oh, but I’m blind 😎

One may even consider sacrificing their integrity just to keep from “rocking the boat”

We may do anything it takes to keep everything nice, to keep things in-tact and afloat

We may have to ask, “please hold this wheel, or it might take a big-ass turn”

Driven by all of our fears and all the anxieties that started to swarm and churn

“Hold on tight. We might lose our balance, someone could fall over-board”

So most of the people began grabbing and clinging, a visceral, unique type of hoard

But did anyone pay any attention to the shy little girl that clearly seems to be

A quiet passenger on the boat, but that also appears lost at sea

She’s sitting on the edge, holding on tightly to the spotless and cold railing

She says to the others, weathered in covers, I’d rather have a boat that goes sailing

Because at least on that boat, it’s true to itself, and to the powers that BE

When Mother Nature takes hold, passengers get bold, and finally I experience “me”

Because she’s not just the girl that stands on the world to feel concrete under her feet

She’d rather set sail on an adventure that entails some experiences she defines neat

It may not be popular, it may not be pretty, but at least it won’t end in defeat

She’ll keep sailing along, singing her songs, focusing on her true needs

Silence

What do you say when you can’t find the words

When their selection might determine what ends up being heard

Sometimes I have thoughts, and other times I’m blank

And sometimes it gets jumbled all together if I’m frank

As I started coming into a deeper awareness

I started thinking about things, like duality and fairness…

Or what makes me me, and what makes you you…

When you’re not sure about life, what do you do

Do you stay where you are and ask lots of questions

When life drags you around, do you seek out the lessons

Do you pick yourself up at every which turn

From all of your experiences, do you try to learn

Because life will give you moments that were made just for you

Opportunities and trials for you to work through

Don’t see them all as just big bumps in the road

Get out your tools and start trying to de-code

You’ll know that you were meant to be where you are

Because God put you underneath that sky and those stars!

And if you get scared, just know that it will eventually get better

Pray, go easy, and don’t apply too much pressure

But also know when to give yourself timeout

Watch for any stirrings of confusion or doubt

Don’t hurt the people who are extra sensitive and sweet

The ones who you think are super real and pretty neat

The people who came into your life solely to enhance

Don’t abuse, confuse, or fall into a trance

Be honest with yourself and always wear your authenticity

If things get overwhelming shift to genuine simplicity

Keep your intentions pure and if you find there’s been an intrusion

Love yourself hard, purge the feelings, it might be in seclusion

See, energies will creep in so you have to pay close attention

It’s an art to work it down, it’s a WAR OF ATTRITION

Thank you for your part, it sure as shit hasn’t been easy

But with all of this practice, it’ll become easy-breezy

We call this, “conditioning,” you should be very familiar

But this time, darling, you’ve been given the chance to reconfigure

Your innards, your wiring, and what is written in your heart

What you didn’t know when it was being mauled and torn apart

Was that you would be the one who gets to put it back together

And with the team that you picked, life will just keep getting better and fucking better!!

Big Heave

You were flung up real high and then taken down low

A serious breakthrough occurred, don’t you know

You felt it in your body, it shot up and down your spine

Intense shaking and sweating, you started to unwind

The energy was overwhelming, as it can often be

But when you came out of it found that you could clearly see

There was no more uneasiness, no more masking heavy doubt

You suddenly knew what you needed and couldn’t live without

What you’ve come to see is that it’s all part of the plan

God had to take you up and down to teach you how to stand

I know it can be very scary, you saw an awful lot of things

But please reflect on how much clarity those sights and images bring

There was a little baby, wrapped quietly on a table

In front of a window with a cross, the sight appeared quite stable

But what you didn’t know is what the image helps portray

A symbol of the One who knows you and who always stays

So even when you think you’re alone and that no one really cares

Remember the love of the One who made you never can compare

So pick your head up, open your eyes, and continue seeing clearly

There’s a ways to go in this life, so tread light and hold it dearly

Death Grip

I’m sorry that I don’t know how to let go

It’s like the answers are in front of me, but I don’t want to know

It’s easier to pretend that something is when it isn’t

Wipe your eyes child, I thought you had 20/20 vision ?

….See, YOU(R) awareness is attached to YOU(R) experience…

And yes, about it, you tend to be very serious

But you have to remind yourself where YOU-ARE

And you can’t forget, others from afar

It takes consideration, and yes this is new

And you’ll have to work at lessening the amount you subdue

Your feelings and experiences, they’re all part of it

And we already know, “fine, [you’ll] face but not love it” 🙄

You see, life is all about walking the walk

If at any point, your mouth is going to open to talk

Don’t be about all of the smoke and mirrors

Step into your experiences and look a bit clearer

Every place you find yourself, that’s where you are

And you know your God, so don’t ever think you are far

From the intended location of your current presence

Think in symbols, and the the fear will start to lessen

Thank God for each day that you have on this earth

Even when it feels like you’re dying (often and) slowly by bursts 🔥

Honest, Hard Work

Wade through the muck, please do what you need

This honest, hard work’s very necessary to succeed

If you don’t unravel your personal confliction

It’ll be hard to overcome your powerful addiction

See you went from repress, to suppress, to escape

Because you discovered it’s easier to manipulate the physical along the way

To wrestle the mind can really be draining

Especially if at work you spend a lot of time straining

Balance is a thing upon which the universe relies

Be friends with your mind, it’s nothing to despise

It works hard and fast, to take care of you

Looking for “reasons” so that it can subdue

These feelings in your body that want to come out

It’s yearning for you to allow it to scream and to shout

Don’t trap them inside, that game’s getting old

Opportunities are arising but your plate’s getting cold

Feed yourself from the deep pit of your stomach

Its outside’s not flat, but learn how to love it

Parent your child, who needs you to be

As honest as you never even thought you could be

Trust your guides, yourself, and your learned knowledge

Hurry up and get through the necessary college

Your calling is waiting for you to catch up

And please remind yourself daily, you’re enough

Depth

There’s a well of sadness residing deep within me

I buried it long ago so that no one else could see

The pain that I feel, it’s too much to bear

If the floodgates were opened you’d stop to stare

Where do you start when you feel you’re at the end

Of your wits, your strength, and your ability to tend

To your needs, the hurt, and the pit of despair

Take your hands off your throat and please come up for air

This life isn’t a race, all you really have is now

Let the tears fall from your eyes and the sweat from your brow

Don’t run from the pain, the secret’s in the depth

And you know what they say, even “Jesus wept.”

Lost and Found

Today I woke up and I had a kid to look after

I didn’t notice all the warning signs of starting a new chapter

The child seems lost, she’s quiet and meek

One could assume she was left out in the streets

To fend for herself and to try to find her way

She hasn’t had time for childish games or play

She grew up fast and learned how to survive

She has an expansive vocabulary but it lacks the word “thrive”

It’s very apparent that there’s some kind of guard

Around her Being and her heart, it seems incredibly hard

To get close, to share affection, love, and hope

There’s something very deep with which she never learned to cope

But this is her time, so I won’t try to interfere

I’ll stay ready and as close as she’ll let me be near

I won’t force her, I’ll let her feel her way through

This part of her life that seems terrifying and new

Where she can stop worrying about surviving in this place

She can try to relax, enjoy, and create her own space

I watch with wondering eyes at this incredible journey

I’ll keep my heart open but my mouth shut, despite the yearning

To see her break-out into this vast, expansive world

Instead of feeling like she has to stay shut in and curled-

Up in a ball, all alone and in the dark

But no one can force you until you’re ready to embark

On a journey to discover, who you truly are

Will you find out right here or will you travel very far

To the ends of the world, to feel and maybe see

You can become who you’ve always really wanted to be

By making a choice, in the here and now

It’s by choosing that you take an internal kind of vow

To stay awake for what’s here, what’s right in front of you

It’s all about learning, you don’t have to subdue

These feelings, this pain, it’s all part of the plan

Even if it feels like you’re sinking fast in quicksand

So I have hope for this child, that seems so sad and so lost

Someday she’ll realize that this was all just the cost

Of everything her Highest Self ever dreamed of

And that it was all orchestrated by those who love her Up Above

Be patient little angel, you will find your way

I’m absolutely sure of it, some how, some day

Family

Here we go, time to take a huge leap of faith 

I’m crossing my fingers that I won’t be a disgrace 

To this path of healing that I willingly jumped on 

When suddenly in the dark I got a glimpse of the dawn 

Family of origin, we’ll be spending some time 

So fucking rare it inspired these rhymes 

It’s been over a decade, maybe even two 

Of being trapped in the memories of all the abuse 

In the younger years when it seemed like everyone was fighting 

Back when I still knew how to purge with my writing 

But we’re all growing up in our own little ways 

Maybe these are the new-found lighter kind of days 

Of laughter, joy, and everything else 

We don’t have to accept the hand we thought we’d been dealt 

It’s uncomfortable as hell but it’s cool to sit back and see

What we’re all going through and who we’re turning out to be 

If I had to guess, I’d say it’s probably similar to 

Childhood for us, which we all quickly outgrew 

So a regression of sorts to when our hearts were open 

I can see the healing in what felt irreparably broken 

The journey isn’t over, I think it goes on forever 

At least in this life, maybe an infinite endeavor 

But I chose them, and they chose me 

So we might as well work together to help each other see

The beauty of living with our hearts open wide

It ain’t easy but we can take it all in stride

We’ll hold hands, breathe deep, and take a leap together 

Because some of these souls I’ve chosen forever 

My soul people they are, so I suppose I’ll do 

Everything I can, I’ll keep following the clues 

From my guides, my God, and all of those willing 

To help us on this rocky path towards forgiving 

Ourselves and the ones we feel we’ve been harmed by 

It may not always look like it, but every day I try 

To give all the energy that I can muster up 

I must say some days it doesn’t feel like enough 

But along the way, I’ve learned how to be kind 

To myself and others, no more navigating blind 

Those days are over, time to face the light 

Even on the days when it seems too goddamn bright 

It’s okay to accept the love into our hearts 

It’s from somewhere that we all have to pick a place start 

Thank you for this process, it sure hasn’t been easy 

It’s turned me into all sorts of different kinds of cheesy 

Towards the people I meet as I continue to move on 

And as I learn to accept the darkness with the dawn 

Thank you for this life, it’s so beautiful and messy 

What a gift to receive all these magical blessings 

I’ll keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other 

In my world that no longer requires an armor to cover- 

Up who I am and who I really want to be 

Which is a choice, and I choose, I think I’d rather be free 

Tick tock. Tit tat. 

I feel as if I’m floating in a womb

Before now, honestly, it felt like a tomb

And maybe it was, I can’t be sure

I think both are rebirth and equally as pure

I am ready to be born and done with all of that

Small thinking and the internal tit for tat

So much work, it seems all I do is grind

I wonder if I will ever really come to find

My purpose here in the work that I do

To my current state I feel stuck like glue

What am I waiting for and when will it come?

In the meantime maybe I’ll come undone

Perhaps that’s the purpose, a slow death of the old

Maybe you have to experience some kind of chokehold

Before you’ll give up and scream Uncle in this chapter

Right when it turns into an utter disaster

Because healing and change don’t always feel good

They challenge everything that’s under the hood

Of our Selves, our hearts, and all of our beliefs

Sometimes it takes years, other times it’s brief

What a strange feeling of death and birth

I can honestly say that it feels like a first

But I think it’s because I was focused on the end

The thought of new beginnings blew away with the wind

The darkness used to come and go much more quickly

But this year it turned into weeks and months of sick me

Maybe now it’s time that I get a small glimpse

Beyond the heavy muck and everything dense

I welcome the light when it’s ready to be

Something I deserve and am prepared to see

I get little sparks of hope, I find comfort in my people

I found I can pray on my knees without a steeple

It’s a constant thing that I try to do

Communicate with those who are willing to come through

With a message for me, from this plane or another

That give me signs of the things that are yet to be uncovered

Thank you for the gifts of my family’s healing

Sometimes it still feels like a dream and my mind’s reeling

I’m ready to be done with this old conditioned wiring

I need to break through and feel something inspiring

I can and I will, it’s a matter of time

For now I’ll keep giving the old clock a wind

Rumble Jumble.

wakey wakey

eggs and bakey

it’s the morning of your life

 

aren’t you glad

you’ve come this far

after all the pain and strife

 

but are you really

isn’t it strange

it’s hard to understand

 

go ahead

lay it on me

don’t avoid the reprimand

 

it’s only time

that’s showed me that

things don’t always have to be

 

the way they’ve been

32 years

please open your eyes to see

 

they’ve been trapped shut

for so long

it’s hard to know what’s real

 

it doesn’t even

matter really

if I open my arms and heart to feel

 

the nonstop thoughts

the constant churn

of is it right or wrong

 

can’t even seem

to numb my mind

for one entire song

 

on the inside it seems

I guess I feel

tired and alone

 

it’s hard to stand

the quiet ache

it sinks so deeply into my bones

 

I don’t understand this chapter

what it means

and why I stand here now

 

chop off my legs

take my voice

when will I learn to bow

 

it feels like a constant battle

never-ending

of the inner kind

 

you think I’m kidding

when I say

I can’t escape my mind

 

I search and read

and plop down thinking

what I ought to do

 

can’t seem to get there

no matter what

so I just sit and stew

 

I was a student

people told me

you must go there and here

 

the kind of people

that at the time

I thought would always be near

 

they were there

I was sure of them

and then they went away

 

all these years

and isn’t it funny

that no one seems to stay

 

but is that the condition

of this life

to show you not to cling?

 

’cause once it stops

and spins away

you can’t keep anything

 

what shifted in me

that got me here

as stubborn as can be?

 

some days I wake up

to look in the mirror

and don’t even recognize me

 

I used to be so willing

so naive

so open to what they say

 

the older ones

I always thought

they must know the way

 

what is age

but a number

that says how long you’ve survived

 

but I don’t like that

I want much more

I’d really like to thrive

 

wake up from your dream

pull up your boots

put one foot in front of the other

 

it’s okay

you know they’re there

in a constant state of hover

 

you’re not alone

despite the feel

it may even be a dream

 

one fact I know

for sure in this life

there’s no constant in any thing

 

it’s just one chapter

in the book

you’ve really done great so far

 

but please be fair

to yourself

and stop raising the goddamn bar

Inside the Suffering

Walk on towards the light 

It’s been a long and arduous fight 

A pointless one, it was hard to see 

The biggest lesson was just to be 

But that insight comes in the depth of pain

The moment you’ve found the thing to blame 

There’s a softness inside that breaks through 

Into an old and unfamiliar you 

The one you forgot from long ago 

Before your Self turned into foe 

The girl who embraced the here and now 

Whose mind didn’t churn over the when and how 

It’s curiosity and wonder that keep us here 

That hold the magic near and dear  

Where just to be is really key

Try it on for size, you’ll agree 

So please sit back and enjoy the ride 

Turn up your mouth and swallow your pride 

I’m just as me as you are you 

Whether on a curb or in a pew 

We’re all doing our best, day to day 

Pay no attention to what the outsiders say 

Love yourself that’s all that matters 

Let the rest blend into the mindless chatter

Lost Child

I’m sorry I lost you along the way

Unknowingly I didn’t have the strength to stay

I stepped out when your head was down

Didn’t realize how tightly you’d be wound

A lost child is the saddest thing

There’s no visible spark or light beam

From the eyes, like nothing’s there

Too much for me to watch and bear

But what’s a lost child? Let us discuss

Ancient and ongoing for some of us?

What’s the lesson and when will it come?

I know I’m smart but I feel quite dumb

Can’t seem to find the love for self

Maybe it’s hidden along the shelf

Between the self help and psychology books

Perhaps I’ll take a closer look

At these false ideas of filling up

I can’t stand to peek inside my cup

It’s not even empty, like we say

Rather black and bottomless on most days

Will it ever stop? Will I find peace?

Or will I die in self defeat?

Just making it and surviving day to day

Can’t seem to control what my mind does say

I don’t see the end, maybe that’s alright

It’s more of a moment to moment fight

Some day ease will find its way

Maybe it’ll think this time to stay