dreams

HealThy Self

~ Everyday Awakenings ~ Leave a comment

We need to spend some time talking about your healthy self 

Pick up that version, take it down off the shelf 

Crack it on open, please, and let’s take a closer look 

Let’s peruse its substance like we’re reading a book 

How did it start, with some outside motivation 

Did you have to sit through an uncomfortable ablation 

Is that what it took to kick some things into gear 

Did someone start your engine, forcing you to steer 

We need you to focus on your health for your Self 

Without life, you won’t be able to accumulate any wealth

Focus on your needs, spirit, mind, and body 

Be weary of showing up when you’re feeling extra haughty 

Keep your poise and balance, don’t let others pull you away 

You may need to find a place to stay ‘til you’re okay 

And yes your demands may vary from others in your group 

It’s okay if they don’t wanna sit around and hang out in your coop 

The goal is to learn how to meet all of your own needs 

To take care of the things on which your mind, body, and spirit feed 

You’re getting there slowly, more things are making sense 

You’re building something now with your hands, like a fence

One piece at a time, it won’t happen overnight 

You’ll learn patience, and sitting, you might acquire real sight 

Child of God

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Listen closely to me, my dear, you are a child of God 

And no one on this earth should be able to convince you that you are not 

And if they actually try to, please just turn your head 

They may not be able to tell but their insides may be a bit dead 

Not in the literal sense, it’s more about a lack of deep feeling 

Where they can’t tell it’s God’s joy and love that they’re actually stealing 

Because their light may be dim, and they can’t see all of the effects 

Of their meddling behaviors and the things that get caught up in their nets 

But those things they’ll have to deal with, it definitely is not your job 

To tell folks when they’re on base or even when they truly are not 

Remember that GOD gives out gifts, He is the ultimate decider 

He decides when to make you turn from a lover into a “fighter”-

for all of the greater good, you don’t need to be understood 

Let others do the work of cleaning underneath their own hoods 

Dancing in the Rain

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The rain came today

it asked if it could stay 

Most would send it away

but I was curious what it would say 

“I came to wash away

and to let the children play” 

And much to my dismay

the rain would have its way 

It’s God’s divine creation

from the master command station 

Don’t fall for an abbreviation

He will notice your hesitation 

Don’t play with divination

it’s not in the presentation 

You’ll survive your indignation

pay attention to representation 

Thank you for saying what’s real

it makes it harder for others to steal 

The passion in your zeal 

it can make you seem surreal 

But that’s not all of the appeal 

you keep two eyes on your rear 

You shouldn’t have to watch for deer, 

though with time you’ve learned to steer 

Thank you for being you 

but work on the need to subdue 

There’s a lightness in your hue 

and some old stuff to un-do 

But if I really know you 

I know that you’ll get through 

There’s a strength in your truth 

It started there in your youth 

Abandonment Wound

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Please let me see your abandonment wound

How far does it go, way back to the womb

Have you been tossed around like a Raggedy Ann

And have you ever found the the full strength to stand

Or does it always feel like you fall short at the line

When you go to seek, do you struggle to find

The next step in life, like its path is blank

Finding it hard to tell the difference between Adam and Frank

It all goes back to the opinions on-hand

Everyone seems to have devised their own plan

To my life’s next steps, it seems to be a lot

I love these people, so why do I feel distraught

Can I release this nagging and constant noise

Can I give the existing darkness its voice

And if I do, what will it say

Will it ask me to go or to stay

Can I let them be, the dark and the light

Or will I fall farther into feelings of contrite

Will I dig into my depths for the secret answer

Will I remember that darkness can also be a dancer

The shadow in life, its a part of the walk

But make sure that you watch your mouth when you talk

Especially when people show up to help

Just ignore when their heavy hands leave welts

It’s not personal, it’s just that they can see your pain

And they want you to experience all of life’s gains

Not all will speak your language, and that’s okay

Just watch for the ones who are CONSISTENT and STAY

Ignore ALL of the ones who make fun of you

The ones who think trauma-triggering is cute

Don’t be apologetic when your insides are screaming

Be extra careful when you start to think of teaming-

Up with folks who have “your” best interest at heart

Who draw the line down and point with certainty at Start

Only you can know, but please keep yourself open

The Light creeps in right where you think you are broken

Re-member That Time

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Please tell me, where did the time go, and did you see it slip away?

Did you ask why it was leaving, or perhaps if it preferred to stay?

Maybe it got caught up somehow or the clock that tracked it broke

Maybe it needs a brand new wheel or maybe it just needs a Spoke

Please remember when dealing with time it can be such a tricky thing

Images will hit and feelings will stir, it’s hard to predict what’ll bring

But that doesn’t mean we should toss it away, ‘cause it has its very own place

It shares its room with us regularly but occasionally it makes its own Space

It keeps track of all of our memories, and each of the cherished years

It reminds us of the places we’ve been and of moments with all of our Peers

Time can have such a funny way of playing tricks on our minds

Just when you think you’ve caught up to it, you might notice you’re running behind

So don’t let <- time <- “get to you,” don’t all.ways fall prey to its petty little games

Keep the present in front of you, try to look through presence’s frames

Because although we can love our time, it is a very human condition

It puts in place this silly little thing, I’ll go ahead and call it a partition

You know you can’t be in 2 places at once while you are in your physical’s form

But the mind can travel lickety split, it doesn’t play into our physical’s-aim norms

So please use this knowledge wisely, please make sure that you consider time

Try to line up your present and physical experiences with your pretty little mind

LAN-g(a<->u)ge

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How do you choose your words, do you think about ‘em long?

Do you consider whether they’ll feel soft, or if they may feel strong?

And once released where will they seek to find a place to belong?

And were they sung from the deepest pit when you bellowed out your song?

Language is a funny thing, it’s such a weird i-Dea

We tend to prune it like a plant, like an absolute freaking chia

This can be quite hard, especially when words come from our mind

And usually if we’re carrying stuff it makes ‘em that much harder t’find

So what we need to do, is find a space that’s safe

One that’s special just for you, a sacred quiet place

Where things are still enough that you can hear the language of your heart

And it won’t come immediately, it won’t happen from the start

Our goal here is to shift away from using just words or speech

Actions and truth are necessary if we want to get real deep

Because although it seems contradictory, depth is truly the goal

You might think that it is height, but check the source of the things that you know

Be intentional with the words you choose, and with the things that you sew

Sickness/Health

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I’m here on my knees, I’ve taken my last step

Will this be it…will I win that big bet

The one that I decided to place on my-self

To be responsible for my own well-being and health

To live in the light, and to walk in my truth

Have I lost what little I have left of my youth

It isn’t easy, or fun, and it won’t be a breeze

It won’t get easier, no matter how much you beg or you plead

Because when it got sewed it in, it was sewed very tight

You asked that it not be undone, even when you think, “but i’m right” !

This is the work, girl, it’s part of the deal

The work began when you decided you were going.to.heal!

You’re funny, and kind, and you’ve got a lot to give

You have a lot of your life left to act.u.ally live

Because you haven’t been living, no matter what you say

We’ve watched you hem and haw, you’ve rocked and you’ve swayed

But you’re getting there (slowly) more things are making sense

You’re more open to the world’s insights and beautiful hints

But you’ve gotta stop the hammering on your sensitive soul

There are some things – well most things – where you’re not in control

You will know what’s best for you, you precious little doll

Bet you didn’t see the way up when you took that big fall

Its view is getting clearer, you can almost see the next step

Encourage yourself, every single chance that you get

Say what you mean.

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Have you ever been in that very strange place

Where someone asks you to please run at their pace

Where you were told how to act and how to behave

Told how to eat your food and which ones not to crave

It’s such a weird space that we occupy here

Where machines are built [this] way and for [so many] years

Some won’t want you original, a threat to their norm

When you say “this is it,” it may stir up a storm

All over another’s idea of how I should speak my truth

Well, you must not’ve heard about the history of ab.use

You see, its roots are responsible for tendering this fire

Fueled by grit, strength, and a depth of desire

To prepare myself enough to guide the ones who come

Like, what if they show up asking me, “what can be done?” !!!!

Because my answers won’t come from that lost inner kid

Who just said what they were told and did what others did

It’ll come from this adult who carefully constructed a foundation

With God, the right tools, and people-filled love stations

The things that charge and guide me when my light starts to dim

When the path turns dark and the window of sight becomes slim

Because when those storms come, I want my house to be ready

I don’t want to flood with fear and then question if it’s steady

I want to stand on tended ground with a confidence within

That will hold firm when the storms come bringing the winds

When the forecast is changing and its predictions are grim

It’ll be the place that we find ourselves after life fills with Him

If there’s one thing that I know, He weathers those storms

He’s got this super duper, invisible, magical platform

That underlies all that we do if we just follow His ways

You’ll be able to see the light even when the skies appear grey

And it won’t be perfect, don’t forget, that’s already been covered

He gave His own life so that we don’t have to suffer !!!

Can you even believe it!?? It actually really does take quite a while

But you’ve made it through in your own, individual, and unique kind of style 😝

Dismissive

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How do you get when it hits you in the face

When someone decides they’re gonna try t’put you in your place

With words, a firm look, or by creating some space

Is it hard not to feel like you’ve suddenly been replaced

With an idea, a phrase, or a fresh set of eyes

Is it a view that you will accept or go on to despise

Will you take it in to settle and weigh its future lesson

Or will you let it push you to a state of surprise-yourself aggression

Well don’t dismiss it when you get a really hard shot to your gut

When a blow hits you hard and there’s nothing in it to rebut

Because it may knock you loose from the stand that you’re on

You may get to see, as an adult, the natural instinct to fawn

But challenge yourself and be okay with things moving around

Even if that movement is in the direction of down

From being too high where you can’t see all of the views

A perspective that might actually make you feel lighter and new

So use judgment, take time, think through every step

Because that approach hasn’t failed you, not quite, not yet

It’s important that you learn to sit at every level

Where you’ll feel torn and tattered, confused and disheveled

Because then you’ll get to see, there are different points of view

You can sit with these and those, all are parts of your crew

It’s humanity, you nut, but you’ve known all along

Don’t dismiss the tune, when sung, of someone else’s song

Raising LaBar

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Let me tell you some things about the ones who will and have raised you

They’re not always the ones who’ll constantly sit back and appraise you

They’ll notice when things aren’t quite feeling as if they’re all balanced out

They’ll pick up on your stirring feelings of confusion and doubt

And know that they may not always resc’you, that’s not evidence of true love

You can get that devotion from the Big Guy upstairs ‘n’ those above

Human love is sometimes soft, but it can also feel really hard

You’ll face challenges and ask yourself what you should keep or discard

But don’t forget that your God will never make any mistakes

He adds things to your life, but sometimes he takes

And taking may mean change, so don’t get so overwhelmed

Have Faith in the One who guides you and heads-up your helm

Some things have to die in order for new things to grow

Open your heart and your mind to the circus that’s God’s nature’s show

You can view it with gratitude, or let things pass you by

But your soul knows the way and how high it wants to fly

Your heart will tell you which ones to hold onto or release

But FYI, your Love’ll knock down walls until your body is deceased

Second Chances

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Let me tell you about my God, He’s the God of second chances

You thought He turned his back on you but you missed His steady glances

As soon as you walked in, you immediately caught His eye

He never would’ve let you just unnoticeably pass Him by

But it’s not always that easy, He has some expectations

So don’t go ‘round shouting yet with pure joy and elation

There may just be some things that he also wants from you

Did you think you could get by unscathed just by doing what you do

See the God of second chances, is also one of fairness

Right when you think you’re covered-up you’ll recognize your bareness

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake

A different type of Santa Claus who knows your special fate

But just because you’re given a map doesn’t depict which way you’ll trek

You may find yourself off the beaten-path and fearing for your neck

Because remember when He made you, it was in His very own image

So you’re not Him, you are your own, with your very own gifts and limits

Please keep these things in mind as you try to find your way

Be sure to use your gifts and discernment when confusion comes into play

But don’t get so overwhelmed that you forget about the start

The One who put you all together, including your big heart

It’s clear that it’s a tricky thing, so please work on being patient

We promise you’ll advance along before you become “ancient”

Just don’t get so caught up on being the one who’s always “right”

You’ll find yourself in one big pickle or in frequent fights

Humility and serenity will be found on your future journey

But it won’t be handed to you, you’re going to have to earn it

So open your eyes and pick your head up, put one foot in front of the other

Pay attention to yourself and when.you.can, your “brothers”

Pre-serving the Status Quo

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Have you ever heard of a thing out there called keeping the status quo?

Making things appear to all those near that everything’s entire(ly) UNDER-control

Well I’ll tell you now, it’s a bag of dicks ‘n’ tricks, often of the worst kind

Just to stare at the turmoiled state of affairs while exclaiming! 🔥 oh, but I’m blind 😎

One may even consider sacrificing their integrity just to keep from “rocking the boat”

We may do anything it takes to keep everything nice, to keep things in-tact and afloat

We may have to ask, “please hold this wheel, or it might take a big-ass turn”

Driven by all of our fears and all the anxieties that started to swarm and churn

“Hold on tight. We might lose our balance, someone could fall over-board”

So most of the people began grabbing and clinging, a visceral, unique type of hoard

But did anyone pay any attention to the shy little girl that clearly seems to be

A quiet passenger on the boat, but that also appears lost at sea

She’s sitting on the edge, holding on tightly to the spotless and cold railing

She says to the others, weathered in covers, I’d rather have a boat that goes sailing

Because at least on that boat, it’s true to itself, and to the powers that BE

When Mother Nature takes hold, passengers get bold, and finally I experience “me”

Because she’s not just the girl that stands on the world to feel concrete under her feet

She’d rather set sail on an adventure that entails some experiences she defines neat

It may not be popular, it may not be pretty, but at least it won’t end in defeat

She’ll keep sailing along, singing her songs, focusing on her true needs

Level-Up

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How will you know if you’re being asked to level-up?

I’m not sure you can prepare for it, it’s gonna seem abrupt

You may feel lost and confused, abandoned and afraid

You’ll do anything to survive… you’ll do whatever it takes

But that is the old you, the one you’re starting to heal

And while it may look ugly at first, it’s a really big deal!!

Your awareness of your patterns is how they start to shift

Awareness will fall upon you, it may even cause some riffs

But now it won’t be the same as it’s been in the past

The lies that you told yourself, well, they just won’t last !!

Your ultimate truth is starting to come up for air

To help pull you out of your deep pit of despair

You can have all of your feelings, thoughts, and emotions

Just don’t create – when you can control it – unnecessary commotion

Especially not with others, you must stay in your lane

You know it’s not their fault when you’re “going in-sane”

And if they do in fact contribute to the pain that you feel

Create distance, don’t sweat it, just keep keeping it real

Find your center, use your sight, and be very clear

But be willing to examine all angles and how each one appears

Parts will remind you of the Big Book’s step four and step five-

Your gears will shift from reverse, to neutral, to drive

You understand now that virtue exists in your mind

Don’t look at what you’re doing then exclaim, “but, I’m blind” !

Now you have some knowledge, some tools, and some of your peeps

Don’t be afraid to join your crew, your people, the freaks!

Now this part’s really hard, you’ll have to be brutally honest

But these are the times — heavy times are upon us!

So you must purge, let it go, please lighten your load

Don’t let any-one push you to the point you explode

Learn to keep your cool and focus on the task at-hand

The ones labeled yours, that are YOURS to command

And let others have theirs, they have their journeys, too

It’s not always your work, it’s not always about you!!

Oh and here’s one thing you’ll really have to start to absorb

Put it on repeat: your actions speak louder than your words!!

You’re doing great, a little wobbly, but you are gaining ground

Don’t forget to enjoy, don’t forget to pause and look around

Baby steps is how you get there and you’re doing just fine

Keep your eye on the prize, next let’s focus on the mind

Silence

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What do you say when you can’t find the words

When their selection might determine what ends up being heard

Sometimes I have thoughts, and other times I’m blank

And sometimes it gets jumbled all together if I’m frank

As I started coming into a deeper awareness

I started thinking about things, like duality and fairness…

Or what makes me me, and what makes you you…

When you’re not sure about life, what do you do

Do you stay where you are and ask lots of questions

When life drags you around, do you seek out the lessons

Do you pick yourself up at every which turn

From all of your experiences, do you try to learn

Because life will give you moments that were made just for you

Opportunities and trials for you to work through

Don’t see them all as just big bumps in the road

Get out your tools and start trying to de-code

You’ll know that you were meant to be where you are

Because God put you underneath that sky and those stars!

And if you get scared, just know that it will eventually get better

Pray, go easy, and don’t apply too much pressure

But also know when to give yourself timeout

Watch for any stirrings of confusion or doubt

Don’t hurt the people who are extra sensitive and sweet

The ones who you think are super real and pretty neat

The people who came into your life solely to enhance

Don’t abuse, confuse, or fall into a trance

Be honest with yourself and always wear your authenticity

If things get overwhelming shift to genuine simplicity

Keep your intentions pure and if you find there’s been an intrusion

Love yourself hard, purge the feelings, it might be in seclusion

See, energies will creep in so you have to pay close attention

It’s an art to work it down, it’s a WAR OF ATTRITION

Thank you for your part, it sure as shit hasn’t been easy

But with all of this practice, it’ll become easy-breezy

We call this, “conditioning,” you should be very familiar

But this time, darling, you’ve been given the chance to reconfigure

Your innards, your wiring, and what is written in your heart

What you didn’t know when it was being mauled and torn apart

Was that you would be the one who gets to put it back together

And with the team that you picked, life will just keep getting better and fucking better!!

Big Heave

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You were flung up real high and then taken down low

A serious breakthrough occurred, don’t you know

You felt it in your body, it shot up and down your spine

Intense shaking and sweating, you started to unwind

The energy was overwhelming, as it can often be

But when you came out of it found that you could clearly see

There was no more uneasiness, no more masking heavy doubt

You suddenly knew what you needed and couldn’t live without

What you’ve come to see is that it’s all part of the plan

God had to take you up and down to teach you how to stand

I know it can be very scary, you saw an awful lot of things

But please reflect on how much clarity those sights and images bring

There was a little baby, wrapped quietly on a table

In front of a window with a cross, the sight appeared quite stable

But what you didn’t know is what the image helps portray

A symbol of the One who knows you and who always stays

So even when you think you’re alone and that no one really cares

Remember the love of the One who made you never can compare

So pick your head up, open your eyes, and continue seeing clearly

There’s a ways to go in this life, so tread light and hold it dearly

Save Your Self

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No one can save you, you have to save your self

You have to fix your life, your perspectives, your health

If you don’t, unfortunately, neither can “they”

No matter who comes, who goes, or who stays

See this is adulthood… it can really be hard

You’ll wade through your karma, your past, its shards

You’ll blame other people, then look in the mirror

Your sight, if you work at it, will keep getting clearer

You’ll see them and they, she and then he

Then one day you’ll wake up and be shocked to see “me”

Now this is the part where you’ll want to give up

Because some of your decisions, when examined, they’re rough

You’ve been selfish and self-centered, you’ve blamed and shamed

You’ve labeled others’ demons, you’ve called them names

This started in childhood, when the chaos was rampant

You didn’t know when it was coming ‘cause you didn’t plan it

When the big people flailed, you had to learn to tell

Will this end in glory, or will I wind up in hell

Do I need to play it soft, sweet, and kind

Or do I need to “put up my dukes” and defend from a bind

But I’ll tell you something sweet, much sweeter than this

Life will give you good stuff you won’t want to miss

You’ll find love and friends, adopted sibs and parents

You’ll go on trips, tours…fulfill God-given errands

And yours are for you, so please don’t compare

We’re all of God’s children, special and rare

Stay present for your life, its gifts and struggles

When a fight comes up, show ‘em your knuckles

But when it gives you beauty, try to just rest

You can be totally relaxed and still be your best

As a matter of fact, God wants you to know

You’ve gotta take a break from lugging baggage in-tow

Thank you for deciding to try to be responsible

Just wait until you see what it can all make possible

Death Grip

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I’m sorry that I don’t know how to let go

It’s like the answers are in front of me, but I don’t want to know

It’s easier to pretend that something is when it isn’t

Wipe your eyes child, I thought you had 20/20 vision ?

….See, YOU(R) awareness is attached to YOU(R) experience…

And yes, about it, you tend to be very serious

But you have to remind yourself where YOU-ARE

And you can’t forget, others from afar

It takes consideration, and yes this is new

And you’ll have to work at lessening the amount you subdue

Your feelings and experiences, they’re all part of it

And we already know, “fine, [you’ll] face but not love it” 🙄

You see, life is all about walking the walk

If at any point, your mouth is going to open to talk

Don’t be about all of the smoke and mirrors

Step into your experiences and look a bit clearer

Every place you find yourself, that’s where you are

And you know your God, so don’t ever think you are far

From the intended location of your current presence

Think in symbols, and the the fear will start to lessen

Thank God for each day that you have on this earth

Even when it feels like you’re dying (often and) slowly by bursts 🔥

Honest, Hard Work

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Wade through the muck, please do what you need

This honest, hard work’s very necessary to succeed

If you don’t unravel your personal confliction

It’ll be hard to overcome your powerful addiction

See you went from repress, to suppress, to escape

Because you discovered it’s easier to manipulate the physical along the way

To wrestle the mind can really be draining

Especially if at work you spend a lot of time straining

Balance is a thing upon which the universe relies

Be friends with your mind, it’s nothing to despise

It works hard and fast, to take care of you

Looking for “reasons” so that it can subdue

These feelings in your body that want to come out

It’s yearning for you to allow it to scream and to shout

Don’t trap them inside, that game’s getting old

Opportunities are arising but your plate’s getting cold

Feed yourself from the deep pit of your stomach

Its outside’s not flat, but learn how to love it

Parent your child, who needs you to be

As honest as you never even thought you could be

Trust your guides, yourself, and your learned knowledge

Hurry up and get through the necessary college

Your calling is waiting for you to catch up

And please remind yourself daily, you’re enough