HealThy Self

We need to spend some time talking about your healthy self 

Pick up that version, take it down off the shelf 

Crack it on open, please, and let’s take a closer look 

Let’s peruse its substance like we’re reading a book 

How did it start, with some outside motivation 

Did you have to sit through an uncomfortable ablation 

Is that what it took to kick some things into gear 

Did someone start your engine, forcing you to steer 

We need you to focus on your health for your Self 

Without life, you won’t be able to accumulate any wealth

Focus on your needs, spirit, mind, and body 

Be weary of showing up when you’re feeling extra haughty 

Keep your poise and balance, don’t let others pull you away 

You may need to find a place to stay ‘til you’re okay 

And yes your demands may vary from others in your group 

It’s okay if they don’t wanna sit around and hang out in your coop 

The goal is to learn how to meet all of your own needs 

To take care of the things on which your mind, body, and spirit feed 

You’re getting there slowly, more things are making sense 

You’re building something now with your hands, like a fence

One piece at a time, it won’t happen overnight 

You’ll learn patience, and sitting, you might acquire real sight 

Child of God

Listen closely to me, my dear, you are a child of God 

And no one on this earth should be able to convince you that you are not 

And if they actually try to, please just turn your head 

They may not be able to tell but their insides may be a bit dead 

Not in the literal sense, it’s more about a lack of deep feeling 

Where they can’t tell it’s God’s joy and love that they’re actually stealing 

Because their light may be dim, and they can’t see all of the effects 

Of their meddling behaviors and the things that get caught up in their nets 

But those things they’ll have to deal with, it definitely is not your job 

To tell folks when they’re on base or even when they truly are not 

Remember that GOD gives out gifts, He is the ultimate decider 

He decides when to make you turn from a lover into a “fighter”-

for all of the greater good, you don’t need to be understood 

Let others do the work of cleaning underneath their own hoods 

Dancing in the Rain

The rain came today

it asked if it could stay 

Most would send it away

but I was curious what it would say 

“I came to wash away

and to let the children play” 

And much to my dismay

the rain would have its way 

It’s God’s divine creation

from the master command station 

Don’t fall for an abbreviation

He will notice your hesitation 

Don’t play with divination

it’s not in the presentation 

You’ll survive your indignation

pay attention to representation 

Thank you for saying what’s real

it makes it harder for others to steal 

The passion in your zeal 

it can make you seem surreal 

But that’s not all of the appeal 

you keep two eyes on your rear 

You shouldn’t have to watch for deer, 

though with time you’ve learned to steer 

Thank you for being you 

but work on the need to subdue 

There’s a lightness in your hue 

and some old stuff to un-do 

But if I really know you 

I know that you’ll get through 

There’s a strength in your truth 

It started there in your youth 

Love

I need to tell you something, Love isn’t supposed to feel bad 

I know it’s been confusing because of the types of the “Love” that you’ve had 

Love is patient, Love is kind, it asks that you not be selfish 

Love will still be there in the morning after you spent the night being hellish 

Love is a paradox, it may throw you for a really big loop 

Love might turn all your hardest of edges into the puddliest piles of goop 

Just when you think Love doesn’t know you, you may be quite surprised 

Love will wait patiently for you until you stop wanting to hide 

Love is the answer, no matter the freaking question 

Love will not get mad at you if (and when) you have to repeat the same lesson 

Love can make you feel warm, but at times it could make you feel scared 

Especially if you’ve associated pain or loss with the biggest of Loves that you’ve shared 

So be patient with your Self, Love isn’t going any place soon 

Love will sleep on the floor outside your door until you make some extra room 

Overdrive

We can see you running around 

And it’s clear to us that you can’t 

There’s this giant thing hovering over us 

Watching us like we’re ants 

Is it is him, is it her, or is it them 

Please tell me who pays attention 

And to whom do we give all the credit 

When we think of a brand new invention 

You see there are many parts 

Things both inside and out 

All things involved are affected 

Causing other things to come about 

So when your gear is in drive 

Please try to pay close attention 

Not just to the direction you’re going 

But also to the things that you mention 

Turn the Ship

Listen up, Captain, we’re gonna turn this ship around

As long as I’m in charge, no fucking way we are going down

We’ve got to find the light, it’s tucked way deep down inside

When you start to see it, you may want to run and hide

But let me tell you something, you don’t need to be afraid

All the things you’ll face in life are things that your God made

So keep your eyes open, be curious about what you see

Remember, it’s okay if you don’t know what those things MEAN

Your job is just to make sure that you deliver the message

Because you just never know who that message you give blesses

Abandonment Wound

Please let me see your abandonment wound

How far does it go, way back to the womb

Have you been tossed around like a Raggedy Ann

And have you ever found the the full strength to stand

Or does it always feel like you fall short at the line

When you go to seek, do you struggle to find

The next step in life, like its path is blank

Finding it hard to tell the difference between Adam and Frank

It all goes back to the opinions on-hand

Everyone seems to have devised their own plan

To my life’s next steps, it seems to be a lot

I love these people, so why do I feel distraught

Can I release this nagging and constant noise

Can I give the existing darkness its voice

And if I do, what will it say

Will it ask me to go or to stay

Can I let them be, the dark and the light

Or will I fall farther into feelings of contrite

Will I dig into my depths for the secret answer

Will I remember that darkness can also be a dancer

The shadow in life, its a part of the walk

But make sure that you watch your mouth when you talk

Especially when people show up to help

Just ignore when their heavy hands leave welts

It’s not personal, it’s just that they can see your pain

And they want you to experience all of life’s gains

Not all will speak your language, and that’s okay

Just watch for the ones who are CONSISTENT and STAY

Ignore ALL of the ones who make fun of you

The ones who think trauma-triggering is cute

Don’t be apologetic when your insides are screaming

Be extra careful when you start to think of teaming-

Up with folks who have “your” best interest at heart

Who draw the line down and point with certainty at Start

Only you can know, but please keep yourself open

The Light creeps in right where you think you are broken

Memory

What is your memory? And how does it work?

Does its path have twists, and turns, and quirks?

Does it seem really sharp, then get really dull?

Does it matter how much of your storage tank is full?

Stay keen on all of these things and what they mean

Remember, things aren’t always as they first seem

Stay true to your Self, you know who you are

You DID A LOT OF WORK to make it this far

Others didn’t see it because, well, they weren’t there

So lots of people may poke, and prod, and stare

They’ll wear on your soul to make you feel not enough

They’ll torture you all whilst saying, “GET TOUGH!”

When I think about care, I have to get really aware

I have to put myself in the position to bear

The brunt of the hard when others want to discard

Our nature which is full of paint, fun, and art

The hard is destruction, it takes things away

It takes things a long time after that to be okay

So this is why we have to try hard to listen on the front

Others do it, so don’t be afraid to be blunt

Use your voice, speak your Truth, it remains the way

You can chill, run, go, or stay

The Choice is up to you, but please don’t forget

If you hit a bump, a crack, or make a dent

Please find a way to make it okay

You know deep down that this is the Way

Pausing to Think

The Truth is, I had to learn the hard way, that I have to pause to think

Got too many opinions on-board right now, I can’t wait to talk to my shrink

People messing with my stuff makes it harder for me to tell

Does this one want the best for me? Does this one wish me well?

My inner guide can get off base when it comes to certain understandings

Other folks seem to get it already, I’ve watched their flight paths ‘n’ landings

My Higher Self, she’s inside, she knows that it’s really up to “Me”

God knows when it’s that time, He decides when it’s time for each of us to See

You may not think you’re ripe, you make not think you’re steady

You may question all the things in life that point to: “Bitch, you are ready”

So align your Self, stand-up, and put back on your crown

Don’t just waste your time when you know you need to run around

Keep your focus on your gifts, and please straighten out your thoughts

So you can tell what comes from within and identify what is naught

Imag(e)-i-Nation

Imagination station, do you ever get caught up in contemplation

How deeply do you feel all your suppressed indignation

Does it sit right there on the surface, so that all can clearly see

Or does it hide deep in your depths, do you run when you think about “Me”

When you use your imagination, please, tell me what comes up

Does it happen very slowly, or does it seem fast and abrupt

Do you see the things as inside, or do they seem without

Do they leave you feeling confident or unsure and chock-full of doubt

Do the images remind you of the way things used to be

Or do they come from the future, are you using your mind to See?

And besides any images that arise, what about associated feelings

Do you just sit and observe the damn things or do you get on to reeling

And while we’re talking about feelings, well, what in the heck are those

Are they like the things we put on every day, kind of like we wear our clothes

To me they’re kind of like energy, like a stirring of something inside

The strange thing about these feelings is they can make us want to run ’n’ hide

But the cool thing about energy and feelings, remember, to me they’re kind of the same

Is that sometimes we can really help ourselves out just by giving that shit a name

Now this can be really hard, especially if we’re feeling overwhelmed

It might seem like the sea of life is rocking, forcing us to abandon our helm

But just because it gets really rocky doesn’t mean we don’t have what it takes

It just means that we’ll have to do the damn thing while it all wiggles and shakes

So use your head wisely, take your time, don’t do anything before you’re ready

Just keep in mind that you don’t have to wait until everything becomes extra steady

The Old Astronomer to His Pupil by Sarah Williams

Reach me down my Tycho Brahe,—I would know him when we meet,
When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
We are working to completion, working on from then till now.

Pray, remember, that I leave you all my theory complete,
Lacking only certain data, for your adding as is meet;
And remember, men will scorn it, ’tis original and true,
And the obloquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.

But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learnt the worth of scorn;
You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn;
What, for us, are all distractions of men’s fellowship and smiles?
What, for us, the goddess Pleasure, with her meretricious wiles?

You may tell that German college that their honour comes too late.
But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant’s fate;
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.

What, my boy, you are not weeping? You should save your eyes for sight;
You will need them, mine observer, yet for many another night.
I leave none but you, my pupil, unto whom my plans are known.
You “have none but me,” you murmur, and I “leave you quite alone”?

Well then, kiss me,—since my mother left her blessing on my brow,
There has been a something wanting in my nature until now;
I can dimly comprehend it,—that I might have been more kind,
Might have cherished you more wisely, as the one I leave behind.

I “have never failed in kindness”? No, we lived too high for strife,—
Calmest coldness was the error which has crept into our life;
But your spirit is untainted, I can dedicate you still
To the service of our science: you will further it? you will!

There are certain calculations I should like to make with you,
To be sure that your deductions will be logical and true;
And remember, “Patience, Patience,” is the watchword of a sage,
Not to-day nor yet to-morrow can complete a perfect age.

I have sworn, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap;
But if none should do my reaping, ’twill disturb me in my sleep.
So be careful and be faithful, though, like me, you leave no name;
See, my boy, that nothing turn you to the mere pursuit of fame.

I must say Good-bye, my pupil, for I cannot longer speak;
Draw the curtain back for Venus, ere my vision grows too weak:
It is strange the pearly planet should look red as fiery Mars,—
God will mercifully guide me on my way amongst the stars.

Re-member That Time

Please tell me, where did the time go, and did you see it slip away?

Did you ask why it was leaving, or perhaps if it preferred to stay?

Maybe it got caught up somehow or the clock that tracked it broke

Maybe it needs a brand new wheel or maybe it just needs a Spoke

Please remember when dealing with time it can be such a tricky thing

Images will hit and feelings will stir, it’s hard to predict what’ll bring

But that doesn’t mean we should toss it away, ‘cause it has its very own place

It shares its room with us regularly but occasionally it makes its own Space

It keeps track of all of our memories, and each of the cherished years

It reminds us of the places we’ve been and of moments with all of our Peers

Time can have such a funny way of playing tricks on our minds

Just when you think you’ve caught up to it, you might notice you’re running behind

So don’t let <- time <- “get to you,” don’t all.ways fall prey to its petty little games

Keep the present in front of you, try to look through presence’s frames

Because although we can love our time, it is a very human condition

It puts in place this silly little thing, I’ll go ahead and call it a partition

You know you can’t be in 2 places at once while you are in your physical’s form

But the mind can travel lickety split, it doesn’t play into our physical’s-aim norms

So please use this knowledge wisely, please make sure that you consider time

Try to line up your present and physical experiences with your pretty little mind

LAN-g(a<->u)ge

How do you choose your words, do you think about ‘em long?

Do you consider whether they’ll feel soft, or if they may feel strong?

And once released where will they seek to find a place to belong?

And were they sung from the deepest pit when you bellowed out your song?

Language is a funny thing, it’s such a weird i-Dea

We tend to prune it like a plant, like an absolute freaking chia

This can be quite hard, especially when words come from our mind

And usually if we’re carrying stuff it makes ‘em that much harder t’find

So what we need to do, is find a space that’s safe

One that’s special just for you, a sacred quiet place

Where things are still enough that you can hear the language of your heart

And it won’t come immediately, it won’t happen from the start

Our goal here is to shift away from using just words or speech

Actions and truth are necessary if we want to get real deep

Because although it seems contradictory, depth is truly the goal

You might think that it is height, but check the source of the things that you know

Be intentional with the words you choose, and with the things that you sew

Breathe

You took me apart, but not right from the start

You began at my head, then you went for my heart

How can I breathe when you’re pushing but pulling

Is passive aggressiveness still considered bullying

Do the ends justify the means, or is it th’other way around ?

When you look at your thoughts, does your behavior confound…

the folks who are watching you and taking your pulse

Are they happy with the beat, or do they seem repulsed

And is it you, or is it them, or is it maybe just both

We’re all human, imperfect, and in some ways we’s gross

But don’t be afraid, please, to look your self in the mirror

Is what you see reflecting back on the better side of clearer?

Who fills you up? This world or your God?

Or have you finally learned that you need both, you sod

We love you but you’re strange, it’s been a really weird ride

But we’ve pushed all of that crap off and to the side

We’ve shown you the way, the truth, and the light

But you’ve learned your humanity can’t even fathom His bright

You will see the dark, it’ll become very apparent

And others may find that you’re now extremely declarant

Trust yourself, keep going, you’ve come very far

But be aware of your limits as you keep raising that bar

Make(s) Sens.ei ?

I want to tell you a story about a quiet, precious, little girl

Who spent most of her time in her room where she liked to spin and twirl

In her room was her own place where the world made a lot of sense

But once she stepped outside that door she had to put on an armored defense

Because once outside those walls, she could never be quite sure

She didn’t know which way to go and so some of the time she got lured

The scary thing about this case is she couldn’t always tell up from down

At age 11 she fell in a frozen lake, almost sure that she was going to drown

So now that she’s grown up, it seems not much has changed

Those old patterns and feelings, they seem to be ingrained

Home is the place where she feels that she can be her safest self

The hardest part, it seems to be, is just taking care of her health

Her body, her emotions, and even things with others

Most days life feels much to bear, she’d rather stay under the covers

But the saying on the streets, is that God gave her a gift

But He made sure it didn’t work until she made some big things shift

He had to see if she could hold all the things that she really wanted

Or if she could even choose those things if life presented her with an audit

It has been such a heart-wrenching trip, but please remember your strength

God put you on this bumpy road so you could endure and go great lengths

Please use your life as your testimony to change the way people think

Broken Spirit

Have you seen my littlest spirit, I lost just a little piece

She didn’t even ask me before she decided to release

I think she got a little confused, or maybe just unsure

Or maybe she met more in life than she felt she could endure

But now I’m ready to find her, because I haven’t felt quite whole

I’ve acted in ways I’m not proud of, I almost even stole

I’ve tried to fill her empty space with every possible thing

With all the things in this life, and even with things in dreams

But none of it has felt quite right as when she was here with me

Since she left, I’ll tell you what, I haven’t felt as real as real can be

So I’m going to make a space, one special and just for her

So when she’s ready to return, she’ll know we can endure

She’ll know it because she’ll see the love that I’ve carefully applied

She’ll see I never let my memory of her willingly slip aside

I’ll wait as patiently as she needs and keep my door unlocked

I’ll welcome her with open arms, even if she opens it but doesn’t knock

I can’t rush her process, it’s really truly hers

‘Cause when I try to control it, it seems to make it worse

So patience is the real key here, and steady careful strides

When the coast feels clearer, she won’t feel like she needs to hide

It really is some tricky stuff, caring for our littlest parts

But when we make them feel real safe, they nuzzle softly into our hearts

Sickness/Health

I’m here on my knees, I’ve taken my last step

Will this be it…will I win that big bet

The one that I decided to place on my-self

To be responsible for my own well-being and health

To live in the light, and to walk in my truth

Have I lost what little I have left of my youth

It isn’t easy, or fun, and it won’t be a breeze

It won’t get easier, no matter how much you beg or you plead

Because when it got sewed it in, it was sewed very tight

You asked that it not be undone, even when you think, “but i’m right” !

This is the work, girl, it’s part of the deal

The work began when you decided you were going.to.heal!

You’re funny, and kind, and you’ve got a lot to give

You have a lot of your life left to act.u.ally live

Because you haven’t been living, no matter what you say

We’ve watched you hem and haw, you’ve rocked and you’ve swayed

But you’re getting there (slowly) more things are making sense

You’re more open to the world’s insights and beautiful hints

But you’ve gotta stop the hammering on your sensitive soul

There are some things – well most things – where you’re not in control

You will know what’s best for you, you precious little doll

Bet you didn’t see the way up when you took that big fall

Its view is getting clearer, you can almost see the next step

Encourage yourself, every single chance that you get

Say what you mean.

Have you ever been in that very strange place

Where someone asks you to please run at their pace

Where you were told how to act and how to behave

Told how to eat your food and which ones not to crave

It’s such a weird space that we occupy here

Where machines are built [this] way and for [so many] years

Some won’t want you original, a threat to their norm

When you say “this is it,” it may stir up a storm

All over another’s idea of how I should speak my truth

Well, you must not’ve heard about the history of ab.use

You see, its roots are responsible for tendering this fire

Fueled by grit, strength, and a depth of desire

To prepare myself enough to guide the ones who come

Like, what if they show up asking me, “what can be done?” !!!!

Because my answers won’t come from that lost inner kid

Who just said what they were told and did what others did

It’ll come from this adult who carefully constructed a foundation

With God, the right tools, and people-filled love stations

The things that charge and guide me when my light starts to dim

When the path turns dark and the window of sight becomes slim

Because when those storms come, I want my house to be ready

I don’t want to flood with fear and then question if it’s steady

I want to stand on tended ground with a confidence within

That will hold firm when the storms come bringing the winds

When the forecast is changing and its predictions are grim

It’ll be the place that we find ourselves after life fills with Him

If there’s one thing that I know, He weathers those storms

He’s got this super duper, invisible, magical platform

That underlies all that we do if we just follow His ways

You’ll be able to see the light even when the skies appear grey

And it won’t be perfect, don’t forget, that’s already been covered

He gave His own life so that we don’t have to suffer !!!

Can you even believe it!?? It actually really does take quite a while

But you’ve made it through in your own, individual, and unique kind of style 😝

Stinky Poop

I need to tell you something about your poop: it stinks

And waaayyy worse at times than you may even actually think

And yes you have to do it, it’s a natural biological fact

Just don’t forget to have some awareness during these inevitable acts

Because even though we know you have to doo what you have to doo

Nooo one out here actually really wants to smell your poo !

So when it’s really stinky, please take the proper precautions

And if its scent will drift toward others just ensure it’s not too often

Protect your loved ones’ nostrils from the smelly and foul truth

Most know this issue is fact too, we’re no longer in our youth

You’ve been so brave to learn these lessons, even if they’re late

Don’t forget about the part of life that enacts your inevitable fate

Dismissive

How do you get when it hits you in the face

When someone decides they’re gonna try t’put you in your place

With words, a firm look, or by creating some space

Is it hard not to feel like you’ve suddenly been replaced

With an idea, a phrase, or a fresh set of eyes

Is it a view that you will accept or go on to despise

Will you take it in to settle and weigh its future lesson

Or will you let it push you to a state of surprise-yourself aggression

Well don’t dismiss it when you get a really hard shot to your gut

When a blow hits you hard and there’s nothing in it to rebut

Because it may knock you loose from the stand that you’re on

You may get to see, as an adult, the natural instinct to fawn

But challenge yourself and be okay with things moving around

Even if that movement is in the direction of down

From being too high where you can’t see all of the views

A perspective that might actually make you feel lighter and new

So use judgment, take time, think through every step

Because that approach hasn’t failed you, not quite, not yet

It’s important that you learn to sit at every level

Where you’ll feel torn and tattered, confused and disheveled

Because then you’ll get to see, there are different points of view

You can sit with these and those, all are parts of your crew

It’s humanity, you nut, but you’ve known all along

Don’t dismiss the tune, when sung, of someone else’s song

Raising LaBar

Let me tell you some things about the ones who will and have raised you

They’re not always the ones who’ll constantly sit back and appraise you

They’ll notice when things aren’t quite feeling as if they’re all balanced out

They’ll pick up on your stirring feelings of confusion and doubt

And know that they may not always resc’you, that’s not evidence of true love

You can get that devotion from the Big Guy upstairs ‘n’ those above

Human love is sometimes soft, but it can also feel really hard

You’ll face challenges and ask yourself what you should keep or discard

But don’t forget that your God will never make any mistakes

He adds things to your life, but sometimes he takes

And taking may mean change, so don’t get so overwhelmed

Have Faith in the One who guides you and heads-up your helm

Some things have to die in order for new things to grow

Open your heart and your mind to the circus that’s God’s nature’s show

You can view it with gratitude, or let things pass you by

But your soul knows the way and how high it wants to fly

Your heart will tell you which ones to hold onto or release

But FYI, your Love’ll knock down walls until your body is deceased

Gently

Gently Dear, gently, be careful how and where you tread

Don’t go and mess it up after you just finished making your bed

Not unless there was an error made somewhere along the way

Unless you put on the sheets on wrong and they simply refused to stay

But if that’s not the case, please just try to get some rest

Know that gently in life is funnily, actually, how we become our best

And what I mean by gently, is really just taking it easy

Especially when your bed shakes and you start to feel real queasy

Lay still in your faith and remember that the lesson is just to be

You’ve done your dirty laundry and this path will further set you free

Second Chances

Let me tell you about my God, He’s the God of second chances

You thought He turned his back on you but you missed His steady glances

As soon as you walked in, you immediately caught His eye

He never would’ve let you just unnoticeably pass Him by

But it’s not always that easy, He has some expectations

So don’t go ‘round shouting yet with pure joy and elation

There may just be some things that he also wants from you

Did you think you could get by unscathed just by doing what you do

See the God of second chances, is also one of fairness

Right when you think you’re covered-up you’ll recognize your bareness

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake

A different type of Santa Claus who knows your special fate

But just because you’re given a map doesn’t depict which way you’ll trek

You may find yourself off the beaten-path and fearing for your neck

Because remember when He made you, it was in His very own image

So you’re not Him, you are your own, with your very own gifts and limits

Please keep these things in mind as you try to find your way

Be sure to use your gifts and discernment when confusion comes into play

But don’t get so overwhelmed that you forget about the start

The One who put you all together, including your big heart

It’s clear that it’s a tricky thing, so please work on being patient

We promise you’ll advance along before you become “ancient”

Just don’t get so caught up on being the one who’s always “right”

You’ll find yourself in one big pickle or in frequent fights

Humility and serenity will be found on your future journey

But it won’t be handed to you, you’re going to have to earn it

So open your eyes and pick your head up, put one foot in front of the other

Pay attention to yourself and when.you.can, your “brothers”

Directionless

When life brings you to a giant fork in the road

How do you determine which way you should go

Is it the appeal of the aesthetic on the path to the right

Or the coziness on the left, where the windings are tight

Is it the feeling you get thinking of one way or the other

Do you consider the weather and how often you’ll take cover

When you find yourself there does your chest get real tight

Do you panic when you worry about which direction is “right”

And when you get on the other side of the turn that you took

Will you get a little ways and want to stop and take a look

Back at the point where your decision was made

Will you ask if this is just a game in this life that gets played

Where there’s a winner and a loser, a number one and number two

Might people stop to stare at a defeated, lost you

Who couldn’t tell which way to go and what things to do

Was your clarity masked by an inner drive to subdue

Will slowing down make you fall over, despite your selection

Will you lose all of your securities and learned protections

Well, please don’t question your choices when the pull told you when

It’s the pull that will tell you, sometimes on a whim

But what you may end up seeing is the pain of being stuck

You’re not supposed to let the choices presented keep you in a rut

This is where self-confidence becomes so very critical

In case in one of your paths appears steeply uphill

A decision will be needed when you get to that space

You’ll have to make a hard choice to get to the next place

And the fork doesn’t mean that you’ll never circle back around

There’s a bigger map of this course that depicts where you get found

So please keep your faith and try to keep moving along

When the path gets real dark don’t just assume something’s wrong

Keep your strength and focus, know that you’re still very safe

So proud of the work you’ve done to get yourself to this place

You can do this. You’ve got it. You’ve always been enough

Don’t lose your hope when and just because the going gets tough

Transmission

The phone rings, I pick it up, and what do you say?

“Hi dear. Hi little. How was your day?”

But before I can open my mouth to give you an answer

Your mouth opens, and out comes the cancer

The darkness our family has been carrying around

The stuff we take with us into the ground

I don’t want to be trapped in this sticky, black mess

I want it to be enough that I confessed, there’s nothing left

This is the way that we transform our pain

And if you decide ultimately that you’d like to refrain

The saying out there, it becomes very true

You will not be able to mask or subdue

You must transform your pain or you can be guaranteed

It’ll be passed to the littles with lightning speed

As a promise we made and it’s written in the stars

If you don’t do it, they won’t get far

So pull up your boots and lift up your spirits

Lean in closer, make sure you can hear it

Your pain will tell a story about your old self

The one who’s willing to sacrifice their health

Filled with rage and compulsions, confusion and hurt

You’ll feel as if you’ve been tossed around in the dirt

Unworthy of love, you’ll curl right up

It’ll fall on you like bricks, it’ll feel abrupt

But hold on tight and loosen your grip

Trust that you’ll be safe but prepare to be flipped

You’ll gain new vision and need to locate the ground

You’ll have to open your ears and your heart to new sounds

Because once the heavy stuff comes up for air

You’ll be thrown into this deep pit of despair

And besides what you’ll gain, you’ll lose a whole lot

You’ll let go of things before which you sought

It’ll all become clear, and you’ll start to feel steady

You’ll have to pause and reflect before you’re ready

To go the next length, to write the next chapter

To pursue all of the things that you truly long after

So spend some time here, don’t rush along

And don’t forget to remind yourself daily: you belong

Double Dutch

Have you ever heard of the schoolyard game, double dutch?

It’s a game of jumping ropes but it can get pretty clutch

Because instead of just one rope, they actually swing two (!)

So it’ll take concentration and practice to show what you can do

Once the ropes start turning, it’ll be close to your time

You’ll have to connect with its dual rhythm and its rhyme

Patience and focus will be imperative to your success

Instead of just one rope, you’ll jump two to prove your best

This could go a couple ways, you could worry about your balance

Or you could pump yourself up for a special kind of challenge! 💪🏼

And if you think there’s been a mistake, well, please check your name for “God”

His mystery’s far too complex for us, it’s simply far too broad

So when your turn comes, please make sure that you are ready

Breath deep, anticipate, and keeeep it real steady

Then explode 💥 into the thick blur of spinning cords

Use your gut instincts, even when your brain and your eyes seem unsure

Because once you get the hang of it, you’ll merge with them like one

With the cords and the ropes around your Being being spun

You’ll learn to question the great fear that preceded this fun

And when it’s all over, you’ll take rest ‘n’ the rest will come undone

You will think this task is over but your training’s just begun

Pre-serving the Status Quo

Have you ever heard of a thing out there called keeping the status quo?

Making things appear to all those near that everything’s entire(ly) UNDER-control

Well I’ll tell you now, it’s a bag of dicks ‘n’ tricks, often of the worst kind

Just to stare at the turmoiled state of affairs while exclaiming! 🔥 oh, but I’m blind 😎

One may even consider sacrificing their integrity just to keep from “rocking the boat”

We may do anything it takes to keep everything nice, to keep things in-tact and afloat

We may have to ask, “please hold this wheel, or it might take a big-ass turn”

Driven by all of our fears and all the anxieties that started to swarm and churn

“Hold on tight. We might lose our balance, someone could fall over-board”

So most of the people began grabbing and clinging, a visceral, unique type of hoard

But did anyone pay any attention to the shy little girl that clearly seems to be

A quiet passenger on the boat, but that also appears lost at sea

She’s sitting on the edge, holding on tightly to the spotless and cold railing

She says to the others, weathered in covers, I’d rather have a boat that goes sailing

Because at least on that boat, it’s true to itself, and to the powers that BE

When Mother Nature takes hold, passengers get bold, and finally I experience “me”

Because she’s not just the girl that stands on the world to feel concrete under her feet

She’d rather set sail on an adventure that entails some experiences she defines neat

It may not be popular, it may not be pretty, but at least it won’t end in defeat

She’ll keep sailing along, singing her songs, focusing on her true needs

Love the Enemy as(i/s) the Self.

It really is crazy, how we grow and evolve as time flies

Days turn into months, and then years pass us by

See, we won’t always be the same as we’ve been

And the same goes for others, ‘cause the world it does spin

We’ll expand then contract, regenerate but age

You’ll feel you’d passed through it then recognize “this” stage 🤔

But all that you’re doing is peeling the layers of the onion

And no, I’m not talkin’ about our modern-day Funyuns

The layers of your life, the layers of YOU

The phases of living you’ve been given to “peel” through

Some folks’ may be small, and others’ very large

Some may put down their own to (ex)claim, “I’m in-charge!”

A point I want to make is that onions are very complex

Bitter when raw, but cooked they’re THE best

But the getting there is hard, I personally hate the cutting

‘Cause no matter how you dice it, the tears ! they just start running

Now you may hate onions and say I’m just in my own world

But isn’t that the point? (*Another sliver of onion just curled!*)

Ok let’s not judge our love for onions, but focus on our symbolic own

The one God gave individuals to work with and sow

What we do with what we’re given is up to each of us

How aggressive we peel it, or whether we leave it to dust

But please focus on yours, don’t get all confused

When your onion needs attention, please be sure to prune

You can help others with theirs when the timing is right

Just don’t get too close or take too big of a bite

Thank you for the humor about onions and all of that 😂

Sometimes lessons + stories = teach + distract!

BOTH, what a concept, now you’re getting the gist

All this talk about onions but not one big thing you missed ☺️

Little by Little

This is how it happens, Dear, just little by little

Because God knows you truly, deeply and all the places you’re still brittle

But He also knows your strengths, so don’t think that He doesn’t care

When around a certain issue He flings you up into the air

Maybe that’s the test you’re given, to see if you can fly

Or if on your way tumbling down you simply wave at passers by

This is the price we pay for being one of His beloved

Some days we rise ‘n’ shine and other days we may feel rugged

But no matter what happens, I beg you, please do not forget

To take your sense of humor along, to bring your love and wit

‘Cause these subjects are really heavy, and not only just for you

Think about all the others – you know, your family and your crew

We’re all fighting our battles inside in one way or another

And isn’t it cool that to ease our load we can (at times) lean on each other

You’re becoming aware of just how much others have pulled some of your weight

Don’t over-criticize yourself quite yet, it’s had to do with your lowly state

You’ve come to learn there are 3 different ways that the enemy can creep-in

Generational curses, harm done to you, and your own individual sin

The best news about all of this is that everything is getting clearer

You’ve unloaded a lot, you’ve done the work, you can finally look in the mirror !

You’re getting close to having the strength to help OTHERS carry THEIR loads

And on occasion you’ll be given the chance to listen and forebode

Pay attention to all of the messages that you’ve been gifted to receive

Keep your focus on your goals and continue to build strength in what you believe

Success

You’re doing it kid, stop and take a look around

After a long game of hide-and-seek, look who’s getting found !

YourSELF. It’s YOU. Finding YOUR place in this world

Hasn’t it been batshit just how many times you’ve been hurled

Into some spaces with which others may not relate

You don’t need their affirmation, its absence won’t negate

Your truth of your experiences, they’ve been pretty wild

Overcoming trauma, neglect, and abandonment! 😯 My child!!

It’s been super awesome to get to be a part of

I freaking told you (!!!) that you’re made of sunshine and stardust

Please don’t forget to pause and give yourself some credit

It will help you to feel a sense of healthy pride, if you’ll let it

Because not many would trudge down the path that you’ve cleared

Many have questioned you, mocked you, some even sneered !

But you’ve trusted your gut, and the God that gave you life

You pushed through when He doled out the pain and the strife

You prayed on your knees for the strength and the will

You asked Him to guide you when you could not sit still !

And now you’re starting to see just some of the gifts

Of allowing yourself to dive into your personal abyss

How brave and courageous, and a little crazy, too

But don’t be scared, those who love you will do so for YOU

You’ve learned that time exists as a humanity constraint

But when Spirit steps in, it can do what humans cain’t

Stay on this path, now you’ve found where you’re going

It’s just a matter of time before your healing really starts showing

Level-Up

How will you know if you’re being asked to level-up?

I’m not sure you can prepare for it, it’s gonna seem abrupt

You may feel lost and confused, abandoned and afraid

You’ll do anything to survive… you’ll do whatever it takes

But that is the old you, the one you’re starting to heal

And while it may look ugly at first, it’s a really big deal!!

Your awareness of your patterns is how they start to shift

Awareness will fall upon you, it may even cause some riffs

But now it won’t be the same as it’s been in the past

The lies that you told yourself, well, they just won’t last !!

Your ultimate truth is starting to come up for air

To help pull you out of your deep pit of despair

You can have all of your feelings, thoughts, and emotions

Just don’t create – when you can control it – unnecessary commotion

Especially not with others, you must stay in your lane

You know it’s not their fault when you’re “going in-sane”

And if they do in fact contribute to the pain that you feel

Create distance, don’t sweat it, just keep keeping it real

Find your center, use your sight, and be very clear

But be willing to examine all angles and how each one appears

Parts will remind you of the Big Book’s step four and step five-

Your gears will shift from reverse, to neutral, to drive

You understand now that virtue exists in your mind

Don’t look at what you’re doing then exclaim, “but, I’m blind” !

Now you have some knowledge, some tools, and some of your peeps

Don’t be afraid to join your crew, your people, the freaks!

Now this part’s really hard, you’ll have to be brutally honest

But these are the times — heavy times are upon us!

So you must purge, let it go, please lighten your load

Don’t let any-one push you to the point you explode

Learn to keep your cool and focus on the task at-hand

The ones labeled yours, that are YOURS to command

And let others have theirs, they have their journeys, too

It’s not always your work, it’s not always about you!!

Oh and here’s one thing you’ll really have to start to absorb

Put it on repeat: your actions speak louder than your words!!

You’re doing great, a little wobbly, but you are gaining ground

Don’t forget to enjoy, don’t forget to pause and look around

Baby steps is how you get there and you’re doing just fine

Keep your eye on the prize, next let’s focus on the mind

Silence

What do you say when you can’t find the words

When their selection might determine what ends up being heard

Sometimes I have thoughts, and other times I’m blank

And sometimes it gets jumbled all together if I’m frank

As I started coming into a deeper awareness

I started thinking about things, like duality and fairness…

Or what makes me me, and what makes you you…

When you’re not sure about life, what do you do

Do you stay where you are and ask lots of questions

When life drags you around, do you seek out the lessons

Do you pick yourself up at every which turn

From all of your experiences, do you try to learn

Because life will give you moments that were made just for you

Opportunities and trials for you to work through

Don’t see them all as just big bumps in the road

Get out your tools and start trying to de-code

You’ll know that you were meant to be where you are

Because God put you underneath that sky and those stars!

And if you get scared, just know that it will eventually get better

Pray, go easy, and don’t apply too much pressure

But also know when to give yourself timeout

Watch for any stirrings of confusion or doubt

Don’t hurt the people who are extra sensitive and sweet

The ones who you think are super real and pretty neat

The people who came into your life solely to enhance

Don’t abuse, confuse, or fall into a trance

Be honest with yourself and always wear your authenticity

If things get overwhelming shift to genuine simplicity

Keep your intentions pure and if you find there’s been an intrusion

Love yourself hard, purge the feelings, it might be in seclusion

See, energies will creep in so you have to pay close attention

It’s an art to work it down, it’s a WAR OF ATTRITION

Thank you for your part, it sure as shit hasn’t been easy

But with all of this practice, it’ll become easy-breezy

We call this, “conditioning,” you should be very familiar

But this time, darling, you’ve been given the chance to reconfigure

Your innards, your wiring, and what is written in your heart

What you didn’t know when it was being mauled and torn apart

Was that you would be the one who gets to put it back together

And with the team that you picked, life will just keep getting better and fucking better!!

Who am I? / Who I am.

I spent most of my life having faith in all of them

Most of them I considered trusted family or friends

Were their intentions good, did they have a firm grasp

Of the ideas they projected upon which I clasped

Or did I get confused when others tried to impress

Their ideas onto me if their minds were hard-set

Well now I’ve arrived at the part where I begin

I’ll no longer allow my head to fall or to spin

I can listen to their words but still make up my mind

About who I am, it’s not by them I’m defined

So as I keep going, I will do what I need

I’ll keep the ones close who’ll help me succeed

In understanding my Self, my morals and values

Please present your steady attention, shall you?

I believe that everything here happens for a reason

That people are there for a lifetime, a reason, or a season

That when we feel doubt, we need to amp up our faith

And remember that in His eyes we’re not a disgrace

There may be some heavy things that come up for air

They need lots of love, we can’t fall into despair

We trust that if we’re suffering we must’ve been gifted

With this task of healing, we’ve never really drifted

Far from the places that we must stand tall

Always ready for a serve, a spike, and a fall

For all of us here these paths have been chosen

And any pot in which we’re planted we must grow in

It could be weeks or years, maybe even decades

We can survive mental health, break-ups, and plagues

The trick is to believe that anything is possible

Yes we could focus instead on the probable

But life is guaranteed to throw you some curves

You’ll try to jump, to dodge and then swerve

But most of the big stuff, it was written in the stars

So no matter where you go be sure to stand for who You Are

Big Heave

You were flung up real high and then taken down low

A serious breakthrough occurred, don’t you know

You felt it in your body, it shot up and down your spine

Intense shaking and sweating, you started to unwind

The energy was overwhelming, as it can often be

But when you came out of it found that you could clearly see

There was no more uneasiness, no more masking heavy doubt

You suddenly knew what you needed and couldn’t live without

What you’ve come to see is that it’s all part of the plan

God had to take you up and down to teach you how to stand

I know it can be very scary, you saw an awful lot of things

But please reflect on how much clarity those sights and images bring

There was a little baby, wrapped quietly on a table

In front of a window with a cross, the sight appeared quite stable

But what you didn’t know is what the image helps portray

A symbol of the One who knows you and who always stays

So even when you think you’re alone and that no one really cares

Remember the love of the One who made you never can compare

So pick your head up, open your eyes, and continue seeing clearly

There’s a ways to go in this life, so tread light and hold it dearly

Perspective

How do you look at things, from which angles

Do you hold them real close then up high so they can dangle

Do you look from far away, then turn them upside down

Do you stand on top and then spin them around

I’d like to share with you about something called perspective

It might require that you pause and get a bit reflective

It’s all about how you choose to look at every thing

How you perceive the good and the bad that things bring

For example, when you begin looking at a loss

You might be examining what you paid, as in cost

But what you might be missing is cost as in investment

Which can be hard to see, especially if you were an adolescent

You might’ve lost a lot, you might’ve really strained

But you’ve gained so much more that your vision must change

Practice framing your stories in a positive light

Don’t only focus on their elevation, your plight

Especially not the ones you try to kill yourself for

It takes them too, sometimes you can do nothing more

Adopt the understanding that you can’t win them all

Sometimes you’ll stand, other times you’ll fall

What’s so important is that you just keep on going

Even if it’s not clear, all of the “knowing”

What’s taken place, it was written in the stars

From your fated place, you’ve never strayed far

You get what is needed: people, places, and things

When it feels really good, and even when it stings

So don’t forget to reconsider when you start to reflect

Just when you think you know, double-check

‘Cause there’s a holiness in all things, even the pain

You might see a loss when there’s also a gain

So keep on practicing, it’s a very important lesson

Once you get going, we’ll move onto the next one

Save Your Self

No one can save you, you have to save your self

You have to fix your life, your perspectives, your health

If you don’t, unfortunately, neither can “they”

No matter who comes, who goes, or who stays

See this is adulthood… it can really be hard

You’ll wade through your karma, your past, its shards

You’ll blame other people, then look in the mirror

Your sight, if you work at it, will keep getting clearer

You’ll see them and they, she and then he

Then one day you’ll wake up and be shocked to see “me”

Now this is the part where you’ll want to give up

Because some of your decisions, when examined, they’re rough

You’ve been selfish and self-centered, you’ve blamed and shamed

You’ve labeled others’ demons, you’ve called them names

This started in childhood, when the chaos was rampant

You didn’t know when it was coming ‘cause you didn’t plan it

When the big people flailed, you had to learn to tell

Will this end in glory, or will I wind up in hell

Do I need to play it soft, sweet, and kind

Or do I need to “put up my dukes” and defend from a bind

But I’ll tell you something sweet, much sweeter than this

Life will give you good stuff you won’t want to miss

You’ll find love and friends, adopted sibs and parents

You’ll go on trips, tours…fulfill God-given errands

And yours are for you, so please don’t compare

We’re all of God’s children, special and rare

Stay present for your life, its gifts and struggles

When a fight comes up, show ‘em your knuckles

But when it gives you beauty, try to just rest

You can be totally relaxed and still be your best

As a matter of fact, God wants you to know

You’ve gotta take a break from lugging baggage in-tow

Thank you for deciding to try to be responsible

Just wait until you see what it can all make possible

Death Grip

I’m sorry that I don’t know how to let go

It’s like the answers are in front of me, but I don’t want to know

It’s easier to pretend that something is when it isn’t

Wipe your eyes child, I thought you had 20/20 vision ?

….See, YOU(R) awareness is attached to YOU(R) experience…

And yes, about it, you tend to be very serious

But you have to remind yourself where YOU-ARE

And you can’t forget, others from afar

It takes consideration, and yes this is new

And you’ll have to work at lessening the amount you subdue

Your feelings and experiences, they’re all part of it

And we already know, “fine, [you’ll] face but not love it” 🙄

You see, life is all about walking the walk

If at any point, your mouth is going to open to talk

Don’t be about all of the smoke and mirrors

Step into your experiences and look a bit clearer

Every place you find yourself, that’s where you are

And you know your God, so don’t ever think you are far

From the intended location of your current presence

Think in symbols, and the the fear will start to lessen

Thank God for each day that you have on this earth

Even when it feels like you’re dying (often and) slowly by bursts 🔥

Reassurance

Use your Will to will

So you can stop feeling you’re being pushed down a hill

Step into your Light

Knowing that by nature you can’t always shine bright

Accept who You are

It might not’ve felt like it, but you’ve never been far

Stand in your Place

Keep creating, staking, and owning your space

Use your real Voice

For the ones near you who may not always have a choice

Remember your roots

So that you and your company will remain in cahoots

Practice humility

Don’t abuse the divine gift you’ve been given in your abilities

Stay in your lane

Remember, you’re not God, don’t act so in vain

Cherish your life

Despite all the loss, heartache, and strife

The truth is, you’re free

You’ve just struggled through healing your poor little me

Open your eyes

Life no longer has to remain cloaked in disguise

Lift your head up

And remember that I AM THE ONE who fills up your cup

Pat yourself on the back

For climbing the mountain to get back on track

Love yourself first

The Love that you emanate might quench someone’s thirst

Try to just be

That is always where you will find comfort in ME

Depth

There’s a well of sadness residing deep within me

I buried it long ago so that no one else could see

The pain that I feel, it’s too much to bear

If the floodgates were opened you’d stop to stare

Where do you start when you feel you’re at the end

Of your wits, your strength, and your ability to tend

To your needs, the hurt, and the pit of despair

Take your hands off your throat and please come up for air

This life isn’t a race, all you really have is now

Let the tears fall from your eyes and the sweat from your brow

Don’t run from the pain, the secret’s in the depth

And you know what they say, even “Jesus wept.”

Challenge Your Pain

You’ll know when you’re ready to challenge your pain

It might be on the downslope of going insane

Or that’s what it feels like, a landslide of sorts

Your mind will scramble and your body will contort

The process is something like being reborn

You’ll be filled with elation, then flooded with scorn

The light will be so bright you’ll feel you’re floating around

Then day turns to night and someone stuffs you in the ground

And nothing can ever really be predicted

Because none of the days feel the same when conflicted

You’ll be ready for the end if you can just turn the corner

But with every single turn comes a new set of orders

Challenging your pain is somewhere at the top

It means you’ve arrived at the place where it stops

Where the fear of something new has shrunken enough

Where the idea of stretching yourself doesn’t feel quite as tough

Where you know you need to go if you want to really see

How beautiful your gift of life can ultimately be

Confliction

Tell me when you feel the weight of your Spirit

Or the sound that it makes, lean in so you can hear it

It’s with your human self that you’ll have to assess

It’s in your body that you’ll ultimately have to acquiesce

You can’t gauge the infinite in a limited being

It’s not with your eyes that you do all your seeing

You’re both, can’t you see, it’s why you get confused

Your humanity gets in the way and senses get misused

You play roles in waking life and then doze off to sleep

Then you fall into your dreams equally as deep

You’re just as there as you are when you’re awake

You have equal amounts invested and at stake

In your conscious and subconscious, they both play a role

When you try to make sense of them you fall into a hole

Of your thoughts that never really seem to slow down

If each were a drop of water you’d surely have drowned

I know you get tired of the pulling confliction

It’s being stuck in the middle that feeds your addiction

To staying in the dark where it’s hard to clearly see

Where tears pour from your eyes and your heart bleeds

Stay soft, little girl, ‘cause the battle sure ain’t over

Lean in close and get to know your inner warrior

Broken Record

Reading, writing and arithmetic

Throw me at a wall and watch me stick:

Done. I mean, just for the moment

Because part of me knows it’s mine and to own it

But I’ll tell you something about the weight of it all

You stand right up and without a doubt, fall

I know it’s my fault that I’m staying stuck

I know it’s not that I have bad luck

My mind feels broken, it always takes the wrong turn

Self-sabotage and shame start to swarm and churn

I always set it up so that one of us leaves

Which affirms the cemented and repeated belief

That I’m so defective and that they all go

And isn’t it fucked that I actually know

That I feed the cycle that I hate so much

That I’m conscious of the bullshit and the crutch

I also know that my mature adult’s here now

I always see her, there to help and show me how

But I brush her presence off, it’s easier to do

Because loving encouragement is not what I’m used to

And the pain feels too much to bear

To feel the hurt when I become aware

Change

Have you ever really wanted to change

To expand and shift your previous range

Of understanding, emotions, and relationships-

You’ll blow-up your perception, it’ll explode into bits

To face a dilemma that’s never really shifted

Please return from the place to which you unknowingly drifted

Be ready to open your mind to the truth

At first you may feel subjected to what they call “fake news”

Because realities feel firm, it can seem we’re defined

By the present situation presenting in our minds

But the truth is, you really have the will to choose

You don’t have to walk around wearing that artificial noose

If you jump into your skin, you’ll ultimately find

You aren’t really the sum of the workings of your mind

At least not thus far, but it’s getting stronger

Your consciousness is waking up, it can’t sleep any longer

So tell your animalistic, wired-wrong amygdala

It no longer has to feel ruled by the Emperor, Caligula

You’ll see when you get there, as you usually do

But we appreciate you paying close attention to the clues

Keep your hopes high, and your courage ever-steady

Everything comes to you in perfect timing: when you’re ready

Along the Way

Life’s a funny thing I’d like to talk to you about

It’s this thing that even with Faith you can doubt

You might often swing from the left to the right

You’ll feel safe at times and others full of fright

It’ll take you up high and then sink you down low

Sometimes it’ll feel fast and other days slow

Relationships will feel easy and then they’ll feel hard

You’ll want to hold onto things you’ll later discard

Confidence will show up and then it’ll leave

God will give you challenges then send a reprieve

People will be there one day and the next day gone

You’ll doubt yourself then become someone whom you can rely on

It’s a tale that will be told until the end of time

You can discuss it directly or with a rhyme

But one thing’s for sure, it’ll keep you on your toes

Don’t feel discouraged by the highs and the lows

There’s an energy at work that always has your back

Whether you’re holding space for the advocate or you’re on the attack

So take it slow and try to stay in the moment

And when you fuck up, try to just own it

Stay in your Truth and give into the flow

Accept the compliments and brace for the blows

Because it’s a beautiful dance with which you can sway

Just be sure to show gratitude and to pray along the way

WORDS

Watch what you say but don’t say what you watch

Not everything you think qualifies as thoughts

Sometimes they’re words swirling around in your head

Other times they’re daggers and then someone’s dead