My Story

If you never asked for my side or my story 

Your opinion will inevitably and ultimately bore me 

‘Cause it’s really all based on your biased conclusions 

Your small, little world is full of you-delusions, 

Preconceived notions and conditioned beliefs;

Skewed, traditional, and Southern motifs 

If you really wanted to know me you would’ve made the time

You would’ve put fort the effort to know what is mine 

You would’ve asked and listened, getting out of yourself 

But you never did try to learn what I felt 

So while I love you and care, this seems to be the end 

The only way to me is if you make yourself bend 

In a direction that you don’t tend to typically go-  

It’s a different path than the only one that you’ve known 

It takes a cracking open, especially of the mind 

It’s scary and unknown, you’re unsure what you’ll find 

But the paradox is that this brings a lot of freedom 

When you break free from the confinement of your everyday “me-dom” 

I hope you will decide to take that daring step 

To recognize you’re stuck, your soul craves new depth 

I’ll be right here praying, hoping you will

Take a step towards me, I’ll forever wait until

Messing With My Head

You think I don’t know? You’re wrong. 

I can sense you’ve taken advantage of my song. 

It’s a gift. Not meant to create rifts. 

Thank you for monitoring while my soul floats adrift, in this game of life. 

It’s a sea. 

Choose to believe, each other. 

Do the Right Thing

Do the right thing, use your True intentions; 

Be specific when deciding what kinds of things you’d like to mention.

Do you align, and do all of your parts seem to be in order?

Have you taken a look around in your personal, individual quarters-

Before you started dipping all of your hands in others’ arenas?

When you create, in your mind, do you also see hyenas?

Please reconsider, please take a look at your own dial,

Consider how you’ll act when and if presented in a court of trial.

Being Known

Listen up my dear, it’s okay to be known 

It’s actually a really big sign that you’ve truly grown 

Accepting all the different parts of your wonder-ful self 

Learning how to be responsible for your own personal health 

It may not be very easy, but it sure beats the alternative 

Your head will screw on straight and you’ll be able to see whose turn it is 

Because it isn’t always yours, growing up means at times being self-less 

It means it all comes together and finally life feels a little less reckless 

You deserve to stand up tall, and give yourself a pat on the back 

You went right on through it, you stayed on your right track 

And now you’ll get to see some of the fruits of your difficult labor 

You’ve learned that your rock hard place exists with your personal Savior 

It’s such a beautiful walk, one we would never want to miss 

Now this life will not pass you by without getting to experience bliss 

Fellowship

Even if God had said, “just you wait and you will see,” 

There’s still no freaking way that I would have ever believed 

That despite all of the pain, I’d find myself in this place 

With these beautiful people, in this wonderful space 

God says, “I had to bend you, but see, you didn’t break, 

All the things you thought you wanted, I simply had to take 

To give you all the things that I knew your spirit craved 

It’s your spirit that concerned me, it’s your spirit that I saved 

You see you have to grow, you have to spread your wings 

Although you may not realize it, I give you what you need 

But please do not forget, you have to do your part 

I’ll get your engine running but Dear you must cruise past Start 

There may be a few exceptions when your energy is low

I’ll kick things into gear when it’s clear you need a tow

I’ll give you all the signals and the signs that will say, 

‘Don’t travel down that road, please go the other way’ 

It may not be a short cut, it may be a windy path 

You may go through arid deserts before you see the plushy grass 

Please listen to your heart and keep your nervous system steady 

Because with every stretch of road I really need you to be ready 

To take a sharp turn here, to avoid the potholes there 

And when the weather’s bad you really have to steer with care 

And oh you’ll have some fellow travelers on your journey up ahead 

You may want to go alone but I made other plans instead 

You’ll get a few who help, who may even lighten your load 

You’ll get others struggling, with them you’ll be bestowed- 

The gift of being of service, of helping another out 

And although it may be hard at times, please don’t ever doubt 

The journey that you’re on and the lessons that you’ll learn 

It’s all so that your soul can grow, even when it burns 

I’m so proud of what you’ve done, so proud of where you are 

Take a look in the rear view mirror to see you’ve journeyed far”  

HealThy Self

We need to spend some time talking about your healthy self 

Pick up that version, take it down off the shelf 

Crack it on open, please, and let’s take a closer look 

Let’s peruse its substance like we’re reading a book 

How did it start, with some outside motivation 

Did you have to sit through an uncomfortable ablation 

Is that what it took to kick some things into gear 

Did someone start your engine, forcing you to steer 

We need you to focus on your health for your Self 

Without life, you won’t be able to accumulate any wealth

Focus on your needs, spirit, mind, and body 

Be weary of showing up when you’re feeling extra haughty 

Keep your poise and balance, don’t let others pull you away 

You may need to find a place to stay ‘til you’re okay 

And yes your demands may vary from others in your group 

It’s okay if they don’t wanna sit around and hang out in your coop 

The goal is to learn how to meet all of your own needs 

To take care of the things on which your mind, body, and spirit feed 

You’re getting there slowly, more things are making sense 

You’re building something now with your hands, like a fence

One piece at a time, it won’t happen overnight 

You’ll learn patience, and sitting, you might acquire real sight 

Child of God

Listen closely to me, my dear, you are a child of God 

And no one on this earth should be able to convince you that you are not 

And if they actually try to, please just turn your head 

They may not be able to tell but their insides may be a bit dead 

Not in the literal sense, it’s more about a lack of deep feeling 

Where they can’t tell it’s God’s joy and love that they’re actually stealing 

Because their light may be dim, and they can’t see all of the effects 

Of their meddling behaviors and the things that get caught up in their nets 

But those things they’ll have to deal with, it definitely is not your job 

To tell folks when they’re on base or even when they truly are not 

Remember that GOD gives out gifts, He is the ultimate decider 

He decides when to make you turn from a lover into a “fighter”-

for all of the greater good, you don’t need to be understood 

Let others do the work of cleaning underneath their own hoods 

Dancing in the Rain

The rain came today

it asked if it could stay 

Most would send it away

but I was curious what it would say 

“I came to wash away

and to let the children play” 

And much to my dismay

the rain would have its way 

It’s God’s divine creation

from the master command station 

Don’t fall for an abbreviation

He will notice your hesitation 

Don’t play with divination

it’s not in the presentation 

You’ll survive your indignation

pay attention to representation 

Thank you for saying what’s real

it makes it harder for others to steal 

The passion in your zeal 

it can make you seem surreal 

But that’s not all of the appeal 

you keep two eyes on your rear 

You shouldn’t have to watch for deer, 

though with time you’ve learned to steer 

Thank you for being you 

but work on the need to subdue 

There’s a lightness in your hue 

and some old stuff to un-do 

But if I really know you 

I know that you’ll get through 

There’s a strength in your truth 

It started there in your youth 

Love

I need to tell you something, Love isn’t supposed to feel bad 

I know it’s been confusing because of the types of the “Love” that you’ve had 

Love is patient, Love is kind, it asks that you not be selfish 

Love will still be there in the morning after you spent the night being hellish 

Love is a paradox, it may throw you for a really big loop 

Love might turn all your hardest of edges into the puddliest piles of goop 

Just when you think Love doesn’t know you, you may be quite surprised 

Love will wait patiently for you until you stop wanting to hide 

Love is the answer, no matter the freaking question 

Love will not get mad at you if (and when) you have to repeat the same lesson 

Love can make you feel warm, but at times it could make you feel scared 

Especially if you’ve associated pain or loss with the biggest of Loves that you’ve shared 

So be patient with your Self, Love isn’t going any place soon 

Love will sleep on the floor outside your door until you make some extra room 

Overdrive

We can see you running around 

And it’s clear to us that you can’t 

There’s this giant thing hovering over us 

Watching us like we’re ants 

Is it is him, is it her, or is it them 

Please tell me who pays attention 

And to whom do we give all the credit 

When we think of a brand new invention 

You see there are many parts 

Things both inside and out 

All things involved are affected 

Causing other things to come about 

So when your gear is in drive 

Please try to pay close attention 

Not just to the direction you’re going 

But also to the things that you mention 

Memory

What is your memory? And how does it work?

Does its path have twists, and turns, and quirks?

Does it seem really sharp, then get really dull?

Does it matter how much of your storage tank is full?

Stay keen on all of these things and what they mean

Remember, things aren’t always as they first seem

Stay true to your Self, you know who you are

You DID A LOT OF WORK to make it this far

Others didn’t see it because, well, they weren’t there

So lots of people may poke, and prod, and stare

They’ll wear on your soul to make you feel not enough

They’ll torture you all whilst saying, “GET TOUGH!”

When I think about care, I have to get really aware

I have to put myself in the position to bear

The brunt of the hard when others want to discard

Our nature which is full of paint, fun, and art

The hard is destruction, it takes things away

It takes things a long time after that to be okay

So this is why we have to try hard to listen on the front

Others do it, so don’t be afraid to be blunt

Use your voice, speak your Truth, it remains the way

You can chill, run, go, or stay

The Choice is up to you, but please don’t forget

If you hit a bump, a crack, or make a dent

Please find a way to make it okay

You know deep down that this is the Way

Re-member That Time

Please tell me, where did the time go, and did you see it slip away?

Did you ask why it was leaving, or perhaps if it preferred to stay?

Maybe it got caught up somehow or the clock that tracked it broke

Maybe it needs a brand new wheel or maybe it just needs a Spoke

Please remember when dealing with time it can be such a tricky thing

Images will hit and feelings will stir, it’s hard to predict what’ll bring

But that doesn’t mean we should toss it away, ‘cause it has its very own place

It shares its room with us regularly but occasionally it makes its own Space

It keeps track of all of our memories, and each of the cherished years

It reminds us of the places we’ve been and of moments with all of our Peers

Time can have such a funny way of playing tricks on our minds

Just when you think you’ve caught up to it, you might notice you’re running behind

So don’t let <- time <- “get to you,” don’t all.ways fall prey to its petty little games

Keep the present in front of you, try to look through presence’s frames

Because although we can love our time, it is a very human condition

It puts in place this silly little thing, I’ll go ahead and call it a partition

You know you can’t be in 2 places at once while you are in your physical’s form

But the mind can travel lickety split, it doesn’t play into our physical’s-aim norms

So please use this knowledge wisely, please make sure that you consider time

Try to line up your present and physical experiences with your pretty little mind

LAN-g(a<->u)ge

How do you choose your words, do you think about ‘em long?

Do you consider whether they’ll feel soft, or if they may feel strong?

And once released where will they seek to find a place to belong?

And were they sung from the deepest pit when you bellowed out your song?

Language is a funny thing, it’s such a weird i-Dea

We tend to prune it like a plant, like an absolute freaking chia

This can be quite hard, especially when words come from our mind

And usually if we’re carrying stuff it makes ‘em that much harder t’find

So what we need to do, is find a space that’s safe

One that’s special just for you, a sacred quiet place

Where things are still enough that you can hear the language of your heart

And it won’t come immediately, it won’t happen from the start

Our goal here is to shift away from using just words or speech

Actions and truth are necessary if we want to get real deep

Because although it seems contradictory, depth is truly the goal

You might think that it is height, but check the source of the things that you know

Be intentional with the words you choose, and with the things that you sew

Make(s) Sens.ei ?

I want to tell you a story about a quiet, precious, little girl

Who spent most of her time in her room where she liked to spin and twirl

In her room was her own place where the world made a lot of sense

But once she stepped outside that door she had to put on an armored defense

Because once outside those walls, she could never be quite sure

She didn’t know which way to go and so some of the time she got lured

The scary thing about this case is she couldn’t always tell up from down

At age 11 she fell in a frozen lake, almost sure that she was going to drown

So now that she’s grown up, it seems not much has changed

Those old patterns and feelings, they seem to be ingrained

Home is the place where she feels that she can be her safest self

The hardest part, it seems to be, is just taking care of her health

Her body, her emotions, and even things with others

Most days life feels much to bear, she’d rather stay under the covers

But the saying on the streets, is that God gave her a gift

But He made sure it didn’t work until she made some big things shift

He had to see if she could hold all the things that she really wanted

Or if she could even choose those things if life presented her with an audit

It has been such a heart-wrenching trip, but please remember your strength

God put you on this bumpy road so you could endure and go great lengths

Please use your life as your testimony to change the way people think

Say what you mean.

Have you ever been in that very strange place

Where someone asks you to please run at their pace

Where you were told how to act and how to behave

Told how to eat your food and which ones not to crave

It’s such a weird space that we occupy here

Where machines are built [this] way and for [so many] years

Some won’t want you original, a threat to their norm

When you say “this is it,” it may stir up a storm

All over another’s idea of how I should speak my truth

Well, you must not’ve heard about the history of ab.use

You see, its roots are responsible for tendering this fire

Fueled by grit, strength, and a depth of desire

To prepare myself enough to guide the ones who come

Like, what if they show up asking me, “what can be done?” !!!!

Because my answers won’t come from that lost inner kid

Who just said what they were told and did what others did

It’ll come from this adult who carefully constructed a foundation

With God, the right tools, and people-filled love stations

The things that charge and guide me when my light starts to dim

When the path turns dark and the window of sight becomes slim

Because when those storms come, I want my house to be ready

I don’t want to flood with fear and then question if it’s steady

I want to stand on tended ground with a confidence within

That will hold firm when the storms come bringing the winds

When the forecast is changing and its predictions are grim

It’ll be the place that we find ourselves after life fills with Him

If there’s one thing that I know, He weathers those storms

He’s got this super duper, invisible, magical platform

That underlies all that we do if we just follow His ways

You’ll be able to see the light even when the skies appear grey

And it won’t be perfect, don’t forget, that’s already been covered

He gave His own life so that we don’t have to suffer !!!

Can you even believe it!?? It actually really does take quite a while

But you’ve made it through in your own, individual, and unique kind of style 😝

Dismissive

How do you get when it hits you in the face

When someone decides they’re gonna try t’put you in your place

With words, a firm look, or by creating some space

Is it hard not to feel like you’ve suddenly been replaced

With an idea, a phrase, or a fresh set of eyes

Is it a view that you will accept or go on to despise

Will you take it in to settle and weigh its future lesson

Or will you let it push you to a state of surprise-yourself aggression

Well don’t dismiss it when you get a really hard shot to your gut

When a blow hits you hard and there’s nothing in it to rebut

Because it may knock you loose from the stand that you’re on

You may get to see, as an adult, the natural instinct to fawn

But challenge yourself and be okay with things moving around

Even if that movement is in the direction of down

From being too high where you can’t see all of the views

A perspective that might actually make you feel lighter and new

So use judgment, take time, think through every step

Because that approach hasn’t failed you, not quite, not yet

It’s important that you learn to sit at every level

Where you’ll feel torn and tattered, confused and disheveled

Because then you’ll get to see, there are different points of view

You can sit with these and those, all are parts of your crew

It’s humanity, you nut, but you’ve known all along

Don’t dismiss the tune, when sung, of someone else’s song

Pre-serving the Status Quo

Have you ever heard of a thing out there called keeping the status quo?

Making things appear to all those near that everything’s entire(ly) UNDER-control

Well I’ll tell you now, it’s a bag of dicks ‘n’ tricks, often of the worst kind

Just to stare at the turmoiled state of affairs while exclaiming! 🔥 oh, but I’m blind 😎

One may even consider sacrificing their integrity just to keep from “rocking the boat”

We may do anything it takes to keep everything nice, to keep things in-tact and afloat

We may have to ask, “please hold this wheel, or it might take a big-ass turn”

Driven by all of our fears and all the anxieties that started to swarm and churn

“Hold on tight. We might lose our balance, someone could fall over-board”

So most of the people began grabbing and clinging, a visceral, unique type of hoard

But did anyone pay any attention to the shy little girl that clearly seems to be

A quiet passenger on the boat, but that also appears lost at sea

She’s sitting on the edge, holding on tightly to the spotless and cold railing

She says to the others, weathered in covers, I’d rather have a boat that goes sailing

Because at least on that boat, it’s true to itself, and to the powers that BE

When Mother Nature takes hold, passengers get bold, and finally I experience “me”

Because she’s not just the girl that stands on the world to feel concrete under her feet

She’d rather set sail on an adventure that entails some experiences she defines neat

It may not be popular, it may not be pretty, but at least it won’t end in defeat

She’ll keep sailing along, singing her songs, focusing on her true needs

Love the Enemy as(i/s) the Self.

It really is crazy, how we grow and evolve as time flies

Days turn into months, and then years pass us by

See, we won’t always be the same as we’ve been

And the same goes for others, ‘cause the world it does spin

We’ll expand then contract, regenerate but age

You’ll feel you’d passed through it then recognize “this” stage 🤔

But all that you’re doing is peeling the layers of the onion

And no, I’m not talkin’ about our modern-day Funyuns

The layers of your life, the layers of YOU

The phases of living you’ve been given to “peel” through

Some folks’ may be small, and others’ very large

Some may put down their own to (ex)claim, “I’m in-charge!”

A point I want to make is that onions are very complex

Bitter when raw, but cooked they’re THE best

But the getting there is hard, I personally hate the cutting

‘Cause no matter how you dice it, the tears ! they just start running

Now you may hate onions and say I’m just in my own world

But isn’t that the point? (*Another sliver of onion just curled!*)

Ok let’s not judge our love for onions, but focus on our symbolic own

The one God gave individuals to work with and sow

What we do with what we’re given is up to each of us

How aggressive we peel it, or whether we leave it to dust

But please focus on yours, don’t get all confused

When your onion needs attention, please be sure to prune

You can help others with theirs when the timing is right

Just don’t get too close or take too big of a bite

Thank you for the humor about onions and all of that 😂

Sometimes lessons + stories = teach + distract!

BOTH, what a concept, now you’re getting the gist

All this talk about onions but not one big thing you missed ☺️

Silence

What do you say when you can’t find the words

When their selection might determine what ends up being heard

Sometimes I have thoughts, and other times I’m blank

And sometimes it gets jumbled all together if I’m frank

As I started coming into a deeper awareness

I started thinking about things, like duality and fairness…

Or what makes me me, and what makes you you…

When you’re not sure about life, what do you do

Do you stay where you are and ask lots of questions

When life drags you around, do you seek out the lessons

Do you pick yourself up at every which turn

From all of your experiences, do you try to learn

Because life will give you moments that were made just for you

Opportunities and trials for you to work through

Don’t see them all as just big bumps in the road

Get out your tools and start trying to de-code

You’ll know that you were meant to be where you are

Because God put you underneath that sky and those stars!

And if you get scared, just know that it will eventually get better

Pray, go easy, and don’t apply too much pressure

But also know when to give yourself timeout

Watch for any stirrings of confusion or doubt

Don’t hurt the people who are extra sensitive and sweet

The ones who you think are super real and pretty neat

The people who came into your life solely to enhance

Don’t abuse, confuse, or fall into a trance

Be honest with yourself and always wear your authenticity

If things get overwhelming shift to genuine simplicity

Keep your intentions pure and if you find there’s been an intrusion

Love yourself hard, purge the feelings, it might be in seclusion

See, energies will creep in so you have to pay close attention

It’s an art to work it down, it’s a WAR OF ATTRITION

Thank you for your part, it sure as shit hasn’t been easy

But with all of this practice, it’ll become easy-breezy

We call this, “conditioning,” you should be very familiar

But this time, darling, you’ve been given the chance to reconfigure

Your innards, your wiring, and what is written in your heart

What you didn’t know when it was being mauled and torn apart

Was that you would be the one who gets to put it back together

And with the team that you picked, life will just keep getting better and fucking better!!

Who am I? / Who I am.

I spent most of my life having faith in all of them

Most of them I considered trusted family or friends

Were their intentions good, did they have a firm grasp

Of the ideas they projected upon which I clasped

Or did I get confused when others tried to impress

Their ideas onto me if their minds were hard-set

Well now I’ve arrived at the part where I begin

I’ll no longer allow my head to fall or to spin

I can listen to their words but still make up my mind

About who I am, it’s not by them I’m defined

So as I keep going, I will do what I need

I’ll keep the ones close who’ll help me succeed

In understanding my Self, my morals and values

Please present your steady attention, shall you?

I believe that everything here happens for a reason

That people are there for a lifetime, a reason, or a season

That when we feel doubt, we need to amp up our faith

And remember that in His eyes we’re not a disgrace

There may be some heavy things that come up for air

They need lots of love, we can’t fall into despair

We trust that if we’re suffering we must’ve been gifted

With this task of healing, we’ve never really drifted

Far from the places that we must stand tall

Always ready for a serve, a spike, and a fall

For all of us here these paths have been chosen

And any pot in which we’re planted we must grow in

It could be weeks or years, maybe even decades

We can survive mental health, break-ups, and plagues

The trick is to believe that anything is possible

Yes we could focus instead on the probable

But life is guaranteed to throw you some curves

You’ll try to jump, to dodge and then swerve

But most of the big stuff, it was written in the stars

So no matter where you go be sure to stand for who You Are

Save Your Self

No one can save you, you have to save your self

You have to fix your life, your perspectives, your health

If you don’t, unfortunately, neither can “they”

No matter who comes, who goes, or who stays

See this is adulthood… it can really be hard

You’ll wade through your karma, your past, its shards

You’ll blame other people, then look in the mirror

Your sight, if you work at it, will keep getting clearer

You’ll see them and they, she and then he

Then one day you’ll wake up and be shocked to see “me”

Now this is the part where you’ll want to give up

Because some of your decisions, when examined, they’re rough

You’ve been selfish and self-centered, you’ve blamed and shamed

You’ve labeled others’ demons, you’ve called them names

This started in childhood, when the chaos was rampant

You didn’t know when it was coming ‘cause you didn’t plan it

When the big people flailed, you had to learn to tell

Will this end in glory, or will I wind up in hell

Do I need to play it soft, sweet, and kind

Or do I need to “put up my dukes” and defend from a bind

But I’ll tell you something sweet, much sweeter than this

Life will give you good stuff you won’t want to miss

You’ll find love and friends, adopted sibs and parents

You’ll go on trips, tours…fulfill God-given errands

And yours are for you, so please don’t compare

We’re all of God’s children, special and rare

Stay present for your life, its gifts and struggles

When a fight comes up, show ‘em your knuckles

But when it gives you beauty, try to just rest

You can be totally relaxed and still be your best

As a matter of fact, God wants you to know

You’ve gotta take a break from lugging baggage in-tow

Thank you for deciding to try to be responsible

Just wait until you see what it can all make possible

Death Grip

I’m sorry that I don’t know how to let go

It’s like the answers are in front of me, but I don’t want to know

It’s easier to pretend that something is when it isn’t

Wipe your eyes child, I thought you had 20/20 vision ?

….See, YOU(R) awareness is attached to YOU(R) experience…

And yes, about it, you tend to be very serious

But you have to remind yourself where YOU-ARE

And you can’t forget, others from afar

It takes consideration, and yes this is new

And you’ll have to work at lessening the amount you subdue

Your feelings and experiences, they’re all part of it

And we already know, “fine, [you’ll] face but not love it” 🙄

You see, life is all about walking the walk

If at any point, your mouth is going to open to talk

Don’t be about all of the smoke and mirrors

Step into your experiences and look a bit clearer

Every place you find yourself, that’s where you are

And you know your God, so don’t ever think you are far

From the intended location of your current presence

Think in symbols, and the the fear will start to lessen

Thank God for each day that you have on this earth

Even when it feels like you’re dying (often and) slowly by bursts 🔥

Honest, Hard Work

Wade through the muck, please do what you need

This honest, hard work’s very necessary to succeed

If you don’t unravel your personal confliction

It’ll be hard to overcome your powerful addiction

See you went from repress, to suppress, to escape

Because you discovered it’s easier to manipulate the physical along the way

To wrestle the mind can really be draining

Especially if at work you spend a lot of time straining

Balance is a thing upon which the universe relies

Be friends with your mind, it’s nothing to despise

It works hard and fast, to take care of you

Looking for “reasons” so that it can subdue

These feelings in your body that want to come out

It’s yearning for you to allow it to scream and to shout

Don’t trap them inside, that game’s getting old

Opportunities are arising but your plate’s getting cold

Feed yourself from the deep pit of your stomach

Its outside’s not flat, but learn how to love it

Parent your child, who needs you to be

As honest as you never even thought you could be

Trust your guides, yourself, and your learned knowledge

Hurry up and get through the necessary college

Your calling is waiting for you to catch up

And please remind yourself daily, you’re enough

WORDS

Watch what you say but don’t say what you watch

Not everything you think qualifies as thoughts

Sometimes they’re words swirling around in your head

Other times they’re daggers and then someone’s dead